Jaina, Jag & Kyp Songfic Collection
by AdraLoran
Summary: Jaina & Jag Songfics, Kyp and Han in them. Sorta in order; first ones I've ever done. R & R please! ;)
1. More To Life

Title: Jaina/Jag/Kyp Songfic Collection  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of my Star Wars fanfics/viggies/songfics. I probably don't even own the songs I use in the songfics. I most definitely don't own the Star Wars characters that you recognize from the book. That is all. So before you sue, remember: I'm making no money on this. I hope.  
Song: (There's gotta be) **_More to Life_** by Stacey Orrico  
Author: AdraLoran  
Keywords: Jaina Solo, Jagged Fel

Jaina sighed mentally as she heard Wedge go off about handing in updated rosters. She turned her attention to the only subject that could hold her fascination through the simple fact that he was a mystery. And her subject of study was sitting right in front of her, making it all the more simple to look as if she were paying close attention.

She saw him flinch, as if he sensed her watching him, but Jagged Fel's gaze never left the front of the room and his pacing uncle. It was amazing how little she truly knew about the person he was; sure, he came from the Unknown Regions, but everyone knew that. She could access his file any time she wanted to, but that only told her of his achievements. She had everything at her fingertips, but she couldn't seem to get past yelling at this man.

**I've got**** it all, but I feel so deprived  
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside**

It was well past midnight and, while Jaina knew she should tell Kyp she was going to go to the mess hall and then see to the damage her X-Wing had taken in, she didn't. They'd gone through enough trouble in the battle against the Vong; Kyp deserved to sleep. He didn't seem to think so, however, for she felt a presence tentatively touch her through the Force. Jaina responded with a soft brush through the Force, telling him that all was well and he should go back to sleep.

No doubt the other person she really wouldn't mind seeing was asleep as well. He deserved that time in unconsciousness just as much as Kyp did, if not more. _Even if I would like to be with him_, Jaina thought to herself. Quickly she shook the thoughts from her head. Jagged Fel did not like her. She was just another piece of Rebel scum to him. But that didn't mean she didn't find herself wishing she was more to him.

**Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing**  
**And**** why can't I let go**

She bypassed the mess hall altogether; her walk had gotten her awake enough so that she would be able to concentrate on her X-Wing. Cappie wasn't in his usual spot behind the cockpit, but she didn't mind working alone. The hanger mechanics were all long-gone into sleep, the sleep cycle having started a good few hours ago. Jaina hadn't even bothered to check the Force to see if anyone else was on the hanger. She probably should've. She'd probably get an earful from Kyp when he found out. And then another earful from Wedge and Tycho. Or Sharr and Piggy. Not for the first time in her life, Jaina Solo wished that she could just be a normal teenager and not have to worry about if she'd be alive the next night.

**There's gotta be more to life...  
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me**

As she hadn't bothered to see if the hanger bay was clear, she hadn't noticed the pilot leaning against his craft watching the stars. Well, he'd originally been watching the stars, but at the sight of Jaina Solo entering the docking bay he'd redirected his studies. It was just as peaceful to watch her working on her ship, cursing ever now and then, as it was to watch the stars.

Soundlessly, so as not to startle the working Jedi- if he could in fact do such a thing- Jag got to his feet and began walking towards the hanger exit. A particularly intense string of curses followed him. He recognized a few as ones he'd heard Han Solo say and then a few more that he couldn't help but blush at. Another string of curses floated out, this time not reserved to Basic. Vaguely Jag thought he recognized Wookiee among the words spoken.

He watched her as she hopped down from wherever she'd been inside her X-Wing's frame and watched as her eyes locked on him. He could drown in those eyes...a perfect brandy-brown color that seemed to be endless. When Jag finally realized that he hadn't moved, he felt a slight tinge start on his cheeks; it was nothing compared to Jaina's red face.

**Cause the more that I'm...  
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life**

Jaina stared at the figure of Jagged Fel just as he stared at her. She felt the color steadily rising in her cheeks and silently berated herself for inability to control that particular feature of herself. Jag was the first one to speak.

"Sorry...I, er, didn't mean to disturb you..."

His voice was trailing off, but Jaina didn't care. She shrugged her shoulders at him then put the tools she had been using down. No doubt she had grease stains littering her face, there by their own accord of making her look the 'Rebel scum' part even more. She fumbled through the tools, not glancing over at Jag, yet knowing all the same that he hadn't left the hanger. At last she found the welder and walked back over to where the interior wiring was exposed. Jaina glanced under the wing at Jag, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry, is there something I can do for you, Colonel?" She cursed herself at how sarcastic it came out. Why oh why did she always speak with sarcasm? Why couldn't she just own up to the fact that she liked Jagged Fel- wait. Did she, Jaina Solo, just actually think that?

**Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more  
Than wanting more**

Jag watched as Jaina dug through her tools, noting everything from her tousled hair to the now-fading color that marked her face and then the grease stain down her cheek. He watched her soundlessly, not knowing whether or not to move away or to offer assistance. She probably would shun the help, but he didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay here...well, actually he wanted to hold her close and kiss her, but that was something he would never get to do, considering they always argued. Jaina's voice cut sharply across the distance between then and Jag realized that she was talking to him.

"I'm sorry, is there something I can do for you, Colonel?"

_You mean like kiss me? _Quickly he reprimanded himself for letting thoughts enter his head like that. _She's a Jedi_, he told himself, she _can__ read your thoughts! Start bottling 'em up now, you nerf-brained koochoo!_

He looked at Jaina's glowering face and heaved a mental sigh before speaking. "No, I'm just thinking." _About how beautiful you are_, he added silently. Jaina didn't appear to be impressed by his answer. Before he could think of something else to say though, Jaina spoke.

"Well, if you're just going to stand there, you could help me you know. I'm not in the mood to concentrate levitating myself and using a welder," she indicated the tool in her hand as she spoke.

He blinked once, slightly shocked, then dimly walked over to where she was.

**I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly  
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door  
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing**

Jag had helped Jaina balance as she went about her welding business and then had hung around to help her with various other tasks on her X-Wing. And for once, they weren't arguing. _Of course,_ Jag thought, _we're not doing much talking in general._ Somehow he could tell that something was bothering Jaina. It wasn't something obvious and it probably wasn't even his business, but he still wanted to know.

Jaina was putting away her tools now and he had nothing left to do but stand there and look at her or stand there and look at her X-Wing. He stood, undecided, in the same spot he had been when he'd first come over.

**There's gotta be more to life...  
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me**

Jaina was coming back over towards him, a slight smile on her face. She stopped just past the lower wing on her X-Wing, caressing the durasteel tenderly. Jag's lips twitched into a small smile. Only a pilot would do such a thing and only a pilot would understand the emotion that went with it. He suddenly had an urge to just tell Jaina everything as he watched her fingers fall from the wing.

"Jaina-"

"Jag-"

They spoke at the same time and stopped at the same time, as if to let the other speak first. Jaina's face broke out into a grin, but then she spoke again. "You first."

Jag looked at her incredulously, watching as she leaned back ever so slightly to rest against the underside of the X-Wing's hull. Without weighing the possible consequences for his actions, Jag stepped forward and kissed her.

**Cause the more that I'm...  
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life**

Jaina leant against her X-Wing to watch Jag after their somewhat confused set of words. All of three seconds later, she felt the press of his lips against hers. First surprise then happiness coursed through her just as she reached her arms to link behind his neck. She felt Jag's hands pressing against her back, pulling her towards him and off her X-Wing. Without a complaint she allowed herself to move forward. Jag's tongue traced her lips in their kiss until she opened her mouth to him. Without a second thought, the pair of them plundered through the other's mouths.

When the need for air finally overtook them, Jaina and Jag drew away from each other but remained in the circle of embrace.

"What was that for?" Jaina asked tentatively, slightly breathless.

A smile appeared on Jag's face as he replied. "That's what I wanted to tell you."

**Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more  
Than wanting more******


	2. Linger

_Lyrics:  Linger by the Cranberries_

**If you, if you could return, don't let it burn, don't let it fade.   
I'm sure I'm not being rude, but it's just your attitude,   
It's tearing me apart, It's ruining everything. **  
  
Kyp Durron walked down the hallways of the base, his mind absently flicking over his earlier conversation with Luke and Mara Jade Skywalker. No, Masters Skywalker, he didn't want anything more than to be Jaina's friend. No, Masters Skywalker, he didn't harbor any ill will towards Jag for making Jaina happy. Well...maybe he did... But in all truth, he knew it was meant to be. He knew that Jaina and Jag were meant to be together just the same way Tatooine was meant to be with it's twin suns.   
  
He keyed the entrance to his room and, as he walked past it, let his Jedi robe drape across the back of the couch in the living section of the appartment. The door connecting to Jaina's room was across from it, and Kyp leaned back against the couch, staring at it blankly for a minute.   
  
**I swore, I swore I would be true, and honey, so did you.   
So why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand?   
Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you?**   
  
Jaina sat contentedly in the circle of Jag's arms, her head rested on his chest. Her hands were resting absently in her lap as she struggled to think of something else to say. Deciding she couldn't think of anything else really worth voicing, Jaina just closed her eyes and gave a contented sigh. She opened herself to the Force, intent on falling back into it only to find another hindrance very close at hand. Kyp had just entered his room and was now standing across from the door that connected their two appartments, apparently staring at it. Tentatively she brushed his presence with the Force, unsure as to what he was thinking.   
  
She received a similar brush in reply, one that was filled with contentment and confidence. Jaina, contented with it, instead lifted her head to look at Jag's face once more. His lips were turned up in a distinct yet subtle smile, one that caused her to give the crooked Solo grin in return. A moment later, she felt the brush of his lips against her forehead. Jaina pulled away slightly, only to turn her face up and kiss him on the lips.   
  
**But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you.   
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.   
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,   
Do you have to let it linger?**   
  
Though he longed to show his true feelings toward her, Kyp sent back only a brush equal of what she'd sent him. Through their Force bond, he knew that Jaina was sitting contentedly with Jag. Before any of his emotions rose past his control, Kyp brushed Jaina's Force presence once more before cutting off their bond, afraid that if he left it open any longer he wouldn't be able to keep from letting her know how he truly felt about her being with Jag. Not that it was his duty to want to kill the pilot; no, that was Han's job. He just wished that Jaina would, instead of going to Jag, come to him for the attention Jag was giving her at present. But that would never happen. She deserved the happiness Jag gave her. He knew that in his head and even in a part of his heart. It just was up to what already believed that to convert the rest of him into accepting it.   
  
**Oh, I thought the world of you.   
I thought nothing could go wrong,   
But I was wrong. I was wrong.**   
  
Jaina hardly noticed Kyp's presence as it was cut off in their bond, so absorbed as she was. Jag's kisses were now roaming across her jaw before turning to run down her neck. Content was an understatement of her feelings at this moment, that was for sure. After letting Jag go to his own devices for a few minutes, she put her fingers under his chin to lift it so that she could see in his eyes once more. Seconds later her mouth was once again claimed by the dark-haired, green-eyed man she was sitting in the lap of.   
  
**If you, if you could get by, trying not to lie,   
Things wouldn't be so confused and I wouldn't feel so used,   
But you always really knew, I just wanna be with you.**   
  
His fingers curled into a fist as he struggled once again to keep his emotions in check. He was distinctly aware that if he even wanted that to happen he would have to leave his apartment. So Kyp grabbed the brown robe from where it was draped, put it on over his tunics and then left the room will speed only a Jedi could posses.   
  
Not quite knowing where his feet were taking him, but no really caring, he found he was on his way to the recreational area of the building complex. Well, buildings plural. As he entered the room, he caught sight of Mara Jade Skywalker entering through another door. Smiling slightly, Kyp walked over to her.   
  
"Up to sparring?" He asked the other master tentatively.   
  
The redhead looked him over, her green eyes critical. At last the former Emperor's Hand nodded, a smile crossing her features. "Certainly, Master Durron. Someone needs to keep you on your toes."   
  
**And I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you.   
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.   
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,   
Do you have to let it linger?**


	3. Angels Would Fall

_Lyrics:  Angels Would Fall by Melissa Etheridge_

**The rope that's wrapped around me   
Is cutting through my skin   
And the doubts that have surrounded me   
Are finding their way in**   
  
Kyp dodged the lightsaber as it arched towards him. The blade that had just missed him halted and drove down in a harsh new downsweep instead. He barely had time to block the icey blue-white lightsaber with his own violet one before it was moving again. The dance of lightsabers went on for a good fifteen more minutes before Kyp's lightsaber was wrenched from his grasp. Even as he called it back to him through the Force, Mara had her lightsaber humming at his throat. With a grin he stepped back and saluted her before returning his deactivated lightsaber to his belt. Try as he might, he could not get the thought out of his head that he had failed yet again today. But he hadn't really failed, had he?   
  
**I keep it close to me   
Like a holy man prays   
In my desperate hour   
It's better that way**   
  
A heavily-contented sigh slipped past Jaina's lips as Jag pulled away from her. She hadn't even noticed the time go by, not that it had been more than a half hour. Jag was looking down at her, a grin dancing in his eyes. The smile that already seemed permanently attached to her face when he was around broadened. She put her head on his shoulder, a finger absently tracing the contours of his chest through the dark gray shirt he wore. Fingers under her chin caused her to look up from watching her hand go around it's uncharted path. The fingers were soon gone from her chin only to be replaced with a firm kiss on her lips.   
  
**So I'll come by and see you again   
I'll be such a very good friend   
Have mercy on my soul   
I will never let you know   
Where my mind has been**   
  
Realizing he wasn't listening to Mara's 'post-battle' remarks, Kyp quickly tuned in to her last words and nodded.   
  
"Well, I've worked past beyond what I wanted to already. See you in the mess later, Durron."   
  
As Mara left, Kyp heaved a sigh and toweled his forehead. He could definitely use a good long shower now. Again using the Force, Kyp called his brown robe to him. Had he known he would be drifting to the gym, he wouldn't have even brought it. It was on that thread that his mind returned to the issue of Jaina and Jag. No doubt they would still be in her quarters when he got back. Well, his sparring with Mara had certainly recentered his focus for the half hour it had gone on, but it had by no means cleared his thoughts. Now that he had no where else to concentrate, he couldn't stop his mind from it's imaginings of he himself with Jaina rather than her with Jag.   
  
**Angels never came down   
There's no one here they want to hang around   
But if they knew**   
  
He watched Jaina silently as she went to the kitchenette. She came back after a minute to hand him a glass, which he accepted with a nod of thanks. Jag took a sip of the water absently as his eyes tracked Jaina returning to the kitchenette to put her glass on the counter. As she returned once more, she stopped by the window, her gaze caught by something outside. Jag set his glass down on the low coffee table in front of him and stood up to walk over. Jaina had her back to him as she watched whatever it was she was watching. He slipped his arms around her waist, his chin resting on the top of her head.   
  
"What's so amazing?"   
  
He could almost feel the smile on Jaina's face. "Nothing; just look at the sunset. It never seems to be the same on this planet. Even with the buildings obstructing it, it's beautiful."   
  
**If they knew you at all   
Then one by one the angels   
Angels would fall**   
  
A slight pang of shock traced across his mind at the thought that she might take into account something so small as the difference in the daily sunset. However, that shouldn't have been a surprise to him, considering she was Jaina Solo.   
  
"Really...I bet I know something that's even more so," Jag replied after a minute.   
  
He moved his chin from her head just as she turned around in his arms. On finger calmly prodded him in the chest as her brandy gaze fixed on him.   
  
"Oh really," she challenged.   
  
Jag nodded. "I've told you many times that your as beautiful as an angel from one of the moons of Iego." Before Jaina could give him her usual 'that's a figment of a pilot's imagination' answer, he kissed her.   
  
**I've crept into your temple   
I have slept upon your pew   
I've dreamed of the divinity   
Inside and out of you**   
  
Kyp returned to his quarters a few minutes later, quite aware that his suspicions of Jag still being with Jaina would be correct. The sun was beginning to set now. With a jolt he realized that the day had gone by quicker than he had imagined. Not that that was a bad thing. It only marked that it was one more day he had gone on living with the fact that Jaina and Jag were meant for each other hanging over his shoulders.   
  
The Jedi master hardly noticed the door to Jaina's joint quarters that he passed as he made his way to the 'fresher. At least he tried not to. His only hope was that Jag would not be staying the night next door, or that if the two of them went on with their time together they would move to Jag's quarters. If they didn't move elsewhere, as Kyp doubted they would, he would have a very hard time falling asleep, merely at the thought.   
  
**I want it more than truth   
I can taste it on my breath   
I would give my life just for a little death**   
  
Jaina grinned up at Jag through the dim lighting in the room. Though it was nearly black outside now and there wasn't much to be said in more detail to her room, she could make out the emerald color of his eyes perfectly. One could drown in those eyes, it wouldn't be a hard task. Calmly, she extricated herself from his grip and walked back towards the couch they had been sitting at earlier to reclaim her seat. Jag followed her, sitting down next to her. Jaina smiled slightly as she was pulled into his lap once more, not bothering to put up the least bit of a struggle. Why bother? It was much more fun to give in, at least in this case.   
  
**So I'll come by and see you again   
I'll be just a very good friend   
I will not look upon your face   
I will not touch upon your grace   
Your ecclesiastic skin**   
  
A part of his mind scolded him. _Why didn't you tell Han in the first place that Jagged Fel was going out with his daughter, eh genius?_ It only took a minute before the other part of his mind jumped in. Great, now he was loosing it. He was definitely going crazy. _Perhaps because that wouldn't be fair to Jaina?__ Maybe she is going out with that Fel kid...it doesn't mean that just because you can't be happy she has to suffer. She wouldn't be happy without him and come on, think about it...you're nearly twenty years older than her!_   
  
Before his thoughts took on any more of a conversation, Kyp shut the voices up. His hair still wet from his shower, the master went to sit in the open floor space in front of his couch. Deciding he had nothing better to do than meditate before he retired, Kyp sat down cross-legged and did just that.   
  
**I'll come by and see you again   
I'll have to be a very good friend   
If I whisper they will know   
I'll just turn around and go   
You will never know my sin**


	4. White Flag

_Lyrics:  White Flag by Dido_

**I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,   
Or tell you that.   
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it   
where's the sense in that?**   
  
Tired and battle-worn, Jaina Solo walked away from the conference room as quickly as her muscles would allow. It wasn't that speedy, to say the least. The only thought on her mind at that very instant was sleep. Unfortunately, no one else seemed to think that she should be allowed it. Behind her, she could hear footsteps. And then a voice.   
  
"Goddess, could I have a word?"   
  
That would be Jagged Fel. Jaina turned to see him walk up and it was all she could do to maintain a face of uncaring calm. Giving him a hard stare for a few moments, she at last nodded.   
  
"Very well, mortal. You may accompany me to my quarters and then have your word."   
  
**I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder   
Or return to where we were**   
  
The moment the door had slid shut behind Jaina, Jag rounded on her.   
  
"What the Kriff did you think you were doing?!"   
  
The sharp tone in which he demanded the answer was enough to spark annoyance into Jaina's tired mind.   
  
"You mean other than saving your butt? I'm sorry, I didn't realize that we bits of Rebel scum weren't allowed to save our fellow squadmates," Jaina shot back, well aware of her tone.   
  
**Well I will go down with this ship   
And I won't put my hands up and surrender   
There will be no white flag above my door   
I'm in love and always will be**   
  
Jag's blazing green eyes fixed on hers for a minute, as if he were trying to read her mind. Then he threw his hands up and spun on his heal, walking towards the center of the room. He let loose a very exasperated sigh as he turned once more to look at her.   
  
"You don't get it do you?" Jaina opened her mouth to give an angry reply, but Jag continued. "You came back, after _everyone_ told you to go. And while I'm glad you did come back to save my skin, you would've been a lot smarter to just let it go. You don't need to go showing the Vong how to get to you."   
  
His tirade done, Jaina glared at him, anger written in her every feature. Her mind raced through the day's events, most specifically the skirmish they'd just had with the Vong.   
  
**I know I left too much mess and   
destruction to come back again   
And I caused nothing but trouble**   
  
"And what would have had me do? Leave you to die? I'm sorry if that's what any Imperial or one of your precious Chiss would've done, but I actually do care about you, okay? Maybe I would've been smarter to let you die, but I didn't want to lose someone else if I could've prevented it." Jaina shook her head, looking away from his face for the first time in the entire argument. When she spoke again, her voice was so soft it was almost inaudible to her own ears. "I'm just so tired of everyone going away... Everyone goes and they leave me to live with that knowledge... I just can't take it anymore. I don't want to lose anyone else."   
  
**I understand if you can't talk to me again   
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"   
then I'm sure that that makes sense**   
  
Jag, who had opened his mouth as she had spoken her 'slander' on the Chiss, clamped his jaw shut abruptly. His face softened as he heard her last remarks. He had lost just Dav and Cher and even though that weighed on him every day, he suddenly realized how little he really understood about what Jaina was going through. Many people had called the Jedi one 'big family'. When one of them fell, the rest of them felt the loss. Jaina had never had a traditional family, being hidden from all the people who had wanted to get her and her siblings when she was younger, but she had none-the-less managed to make the most of what she did have. And then, all by this stupid war, she had lost the most precious members of that family she had to surround herself with.   
  
**Well I will go down with this ship   
And I won't put my hands up and surrender   
There will be no white flag above my door   
I'm in love and always will be**   
  
Without realizing it, Jag had pulled Jaina into a hug. She was resting her head on his shoulder and for a moment, Jag thought she was just trying to get over what she'd said. Next second, he realized she was crying as her tears bled through his flightsuit. Mentally cursing himself for provoking this reaction from her, Jag rubbed his hand up and down her back, trying his best to soothe her. When she seemed to stop crying, he glanced down at her.   
  
"Jaina...I'm sorry...I shouldn't have made a big deal over it." Jag paused, weighing his next words. Even before he spoke them, he hoped to the stars that Jaina wouldn't get more upset over them. "I don't plan on leaving you, Jaina. I'm not just going to pick up my bags and leave for the Unknown Regions."   
  
**And when we meet   
Which I'm sure we will   
All that was there   
Will be there still**   
  
Jaina watched Jag's face as he spoke, wishing to wipe her eyes but not moving to do so. She listened to his 'speech', but even so, it was hollow to her. He stopped speaking, a bit abruptly, but stopped none-the-less and that gave Jaina a minute to consider her next words.   
  
"So you're saying that Jasa and Ana planned on getting killed. Glad to know I'm that horrible a sister, Jag," her tone mixed with sarcasm, merely because if it hadn't been she would've been crying again. From the look on Jag's face, he obviously hadn't been meaning to remind her of her brothers.   
  
**I'll let it pass   
And hold my tongue   
And you will think   
That I've moved on....**   
  
Han Solo walked down the hallway stride in stride with Kyp Durron. The Jedi Master had agreed, albeit reluctantly, to take him directly to Jaina's quarters. Heaving just come from offworld, he was anxious to know for himself that his daughter was okay. Leia had gone with Wedge and Iella to find out where their quarters were. Though he found it a bit funny that Kyp had seemed reluctant to bring him directly to Jaina, Han brushed it aside. He would deal with it later. Indeed, it was curious but before he could think more on the subject, Han saw that they had stopped. Kyp pressed the door com just to the side of a door panel and waited. Han stood next to him, waiting, but a bit more impatiently. Three seconds later the door was opening. Kyp entered first and Han followed, his eyes taking in the half--it lights. His gaze found his daughter, as he'd expected. However, he hadn't expected in the least who she was with. His mind barely registered that Jagged Fel stood behind Jaina, his arms wrapped around her waist before he shouted his mind for the whole sector to hear.   
  
"What in all of Corellia's hells is going on here?!"   
  
**Well I will go down with this ship   
And I won't put my hands up and surrender   
There will be no white flag above my door   
I'm in love and always will be**


	5. Why Can't I?

_Lyrics:  Why Can't I? by Liz Phair_

**Get a load of me****, get a load of you**

**Walkin****' down the street, and I hardly know you**

**It's just like we were meant to be**  
  
****

Jaina silently as she looked out the canopy of her X-Wing to see Jag Fel's clawcraft whipping by overhead.  She'd liked him, sure...but she couldn't figure out what the kriff that meant in relation to anything else- the Goddess ruse, her career, her parents...well, more specifically what her father would do to Jag if he ever figured it out that she wasn't just keeping him around as part of her ruse.  The fact that he'd walked in on them after their fight had been bad enough.  The fact that he was beginning to follow her around, or employ C3P0 to do it, didn't help the matter.  And if either of them ever got any hint of information...  With a sigh, Jaina calmly admitted to herself that her future was going to be very bleak.  There was no way in any of the nine Corellian hells that her father, the infamously blaster-happy Han Solo, would welcome a possible extension of his family to the son of and Imperial Baron.  Not to mention a Corellian one.

**Holding hands with you when we're out at night**

**Got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right**

**And I've got someone waiting too**

The thoughts lingered around in her mind for the rest of the day and even kept her up that night.  There was no getting around it: this relationship, wonderful as it was, wouldn't be able to go anywhere.  But even with the thought of what she had to do firmly implanted in her mind, Jaina couldn't help shaking the feeling of perfect bliss whenever she was around him.  Everything that was wrong just seemed to evaporate into meaningless whims and wisps of worry when she was talking to him.  There was just something about Jag Fel, whether or not other noticed it, that was just...  She couldn't even find words to finish her thought.  But she knew what it was deep down.  Because it was a feeling, not a word.

**What if this is just the beginning**

**We're already wet, and we're gonna go swimming**

Jaina walked out of her quarters the next day feeling lower than she'd thought possible given her current situation.  In truth, her situation was quite good.  She had her twin, she had her family, she had a great friend and she even had a friend who was something more.  Unfortunately, that last person might hate her after what she had to do.  Maybe it was Piggy and Sharr forcing her into this, maybe not.  They'd brought immediate attention to the fact that they frowned on the fact that Jaina was 'seeing' Jagged Fel.  It would ruin the ruse, they had said more than once.  Only the people who seemed to remember that she needed to have something to pull her back to reality when it all became too much, when the pressure got too high, supported her.  But that didn't mean that the Wraiths didn't have a point.

**Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you**

**Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you**

**It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it**

**So tell me**

**Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you**

Jaina was standing, shuffling from foot to foot, in front of Jag's clawcraft, listening to him calmly fix whatever the current problem was.  Unfortunately, they'd probably both be having a big problem sooner than that...emotionally at least.  Well, it wasn't really fair to go into that.  She couldn't speak for him.  Even as she called the words to mind, she knew she couldn't do this.  Screw the Goddess ruse.  Screw listening to Piggy and Sharr.  Screw the Force-forsaken Yuuzhan Vong.  Screw 'em all to each of the Corellian hells and back, then ship them to Kessel for a good long term in the mines under chains.  There was no way she could give up having Jag as more than a squadmate.  No matter how many angles she tried to put to it, she still would love him, still would feel the same way.  And that feeling didn't even tarnish with the thought of her father grabbing a blaster to aim at Jag's head.

**Isn't this the best part of breakin' up  
Finding someone else you can't get enough of  
Someone who wants to be with you too**

Instead of saying anything about what her thoughts had been, where they had been leading her, Jaina instead kicked the sole of Jag's boot.

"Hey flyboy," she called down to him.

The sounds of metal closing upon metal hit the air, then Jag was pushing himself out from underneath the craft.  His hands were dirty from his work and, upon seeing Jaina, he wiped them on his black flightsuit.

"Yeah?"

**High enough for you to make me wonder  
Where it's goin'  
High enough for you to pull me under  
Somethin's growin'  
out of this that we can control  
Baby I am dyin'**

"That insane family of mine wanted us for dinner tonight.  More specifically, Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara."

Jag looked slightly surprised at the revelation, something Jaina readily noticed in the split-second it was in his eyes, then nodded.  His hands now clean, he stopped dirtying his flightsuit.

"I see," he countered.

Jaina nodded.  "I'm sure you do, flyboy, I'm sure you do.  Anyway, Colonel Fel, nineteen hundred hours is dinner."  With that, Jaina handed him a datapad and then turned tail towards the docking bay exit.  She knew he'd be pulling an emotionless face, even if she herself would've been grinning at the message pressed before her on the datapad; '_Falcon in ten'._

**Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you  
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it  
So tell me  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you**


	6. Head Over Feet

_Lyrics:  Head Over Feet by Alanis Morissette_

**I had no choice but to hear you   
You stated your case time and again   
I thought about it**

Jag stared at Jaina incredulously, not wishing to believe what he was hearing.  Of all things, how could she doubt him on this?  Just because he'd received a message from Csillia requiring him to report back.  Sure, they'd both known it was coming and it most definitely wasn't any less of a shock and disappointment to him as it was to her, he just tried not to display his sadness and annoyance.  Jaina, on the other hand, was on something like a warpath.  It surprised him more than anything did merely because he'd thought that she would do exactly that: flip.  But that had been an idle thought, not something he'd thought he would have to go through.

**You treat me like I'm a princess   
I'm not used to liking that   
You ask how my day was**

With a sigh at his stupidity, he watched Jaina's retreating frame before the door slid shut.  This say was definitely not going well.  First news from Csillia.  That would most likely mean he was being reassigned...or worse.  But that fact Jaina was taking it horribly was only making the situation worse.  Deciding he couldn't just let them part on a bad note, Jag sighed again and exited after her.  It was at times like these that Jag wished he had the Force.  It would've been much easier to locate Jaina if he did.  There was probably no point in dialing up her comm; she'd have turned it off.

**You've already won me over in spite of me   
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet   
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are   
I couldn't help it   
It's all your fault**

Forty-five minutes later, Jag found Jaina sitting in her room.  He knew that it probably wouldn't be the smartest thing he'd ever done, but he walked over and sat across from her, gaze level on hers.  Jaina's eyes were red-rimmed, startling Jag slightly.  He hadn't expected her to cry after she'd left.****

"Jaina?" he asked tentatively.

**Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole   
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for   
That's not lip service**

She watched him for a few minutes and it took all Jag's control to keep from squirming under her teary gaze.  He saw her close her eyes once more and he wondered if he'd even be getting a response.  Deciding to chance thinking he wouldn't, he went on.

"Look, Jaina, I'm not going to just up and disappear into the Unknown Regions," he began.

**You've already won me over in spite of me   
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet   
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are   
I couldn't help it   
It's all your fault**

He knew there would be disbelief on her face, but he plowed on anyway.  "I'm not about to give you up.  I...Jaina, I love you and I'm not going to give up something like that.  Just because I've got to go back to Csillia doesn't mean that I won't return, even if I have to denounce my oath to the Chiss."

Jag paused again, looking at Jaina's face cautiously only to find her watching him.  Tears were brimming again along her lower eyelids, threatening to overflow.  Jag offered an uncharacteristic smile, hoping she might say something.  He received no response, only her fixed attention.  Deciding that was as good as he was going to get for the moment, Jag concluded to go on.

**You are the bearer of unconditional things   
You held your breath and the door for me   
Thanks for your patience**

"Look, Jaina, this is as blunt as I care to put it.  You have my heart and if you're sad, it's going to make me the same way.  I only care about you being happy at this point.  I don't feel like adding more sorrow to your life."

Somehow, Jag thought, that got through.  Jaina's chin rose carefully from her knees.  Her arms relaxed around her legs, having been before clutching them to her chest as she sat in a human ball.  She looked at him for a few seconds before closing her eyes again, pushing the tears in her eyes to running down her face.

**You're the best listener that I've ever met   
You're my best friend   
Best friend with benefits   
What took me so long**

Cursing himself for his stupidity as he stood, Jag quickly took a seat next to Jaina on the couch, pulling her to him.  She didn't protest, rather released her legs to wrap her arms around him.  She didn't say a word, never gave any soft of muffled cry, and the only way Jag knew she was crying was that where her face was buried in his shoulder, his jumpsuit was becoming wet with the tears.  Having no choice but to let her cry until she was ready to stop, Jag merely threaded her hair between his fingers, brushing it down her back silently.

**I've never felt this healthy before   
I've never wanted something rational   
I am aware now   
I am aware now**

Some degree of time later, Jag was still sitting on the couch in Jaina's quarters, Jaina herself asleep with her arms wrapped loosely around his left arm, her cheek pressed against his shoulder.  Jag's fingers were linked together to hold her, though they weren't needed to keep her in his lap, and he merely watched the sleeping angel.  _His_ angel.  Maybe the fables of angels from the moons of Iego were just that:  stories told by pilots.  But maybe there was some truth to them.  The angel didn't necessarily need to come from a moon of Iego, did she?  Couldn't she be found within your command structure, portraying an all-powerful Yuuzhan Vong Trickster Goddess?  Somehow, Jag thought they could.

**You've already won me over in spite of me   
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet   
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are   
I couldn't help it   
It's all your fault**


	7. Immortality

_Lyrics:  Immortality by Celine Dion_

**So this is who I am,  
And this is all I know,  
And I must choose to live,  
For all that I can give,  
The spark that makes the power grow**

Han Solo sat quietly watching his daughter as she pressed a hand against the transparisteel barrier separating her from the docking bay.  In spite of his dislike for the relationship she held with the Imperial nerfherder who once again was leading a squadron, he could've sworn he heard the cracking of his heart over the sounds of the clawcraft fighters powering up.  He blinked once and looked out into the bay, watching as the first set of fighters exited.  Han glanced at Jaina quickly and was startled to see a wet trail tracing down her cheek.

**And I will stand for my dream if I can,  
Symbol of my faith in who I am,  
But you are my only,  
And I must follow on the road that lies ahead,  
And I won't let my heart control my head,  
But you are my only  
And we don't say goodbye,  
And I know what I've got to be**

As she watched Jag's clawcraft disappear into the darkness above Mon Cal, Jaina squeezed her eyes shut as hard as she could, as if that would block out the horrible reality she was facing.  The moment she heard the last of the fighters leave the docking bay, she rotated on her heel, now facing away from the transparisteel.  Jag was gone...he was really gone.  And Sith Lords only knew when he'd be back.

Jaina hurriedly left the room as quickly as her feet would take her, ignoring her father as he moved towards her.  He hated Jag, so he would obviously think that his orders to return home were a good thing.

**Immortality  
I make my journey through eternity  
I keep the memory of you and me inside**

Once she was back to her quarters, she didn't even try to stifle the tears that had been threatening to overflow.  Instead, she let herself fall onto her bed, loosing a cry of sadness as she did so.  Jaina buried her face in her pillow and then pounded the same pillow, as if either would bring Jag back to her.  His orders hadn't been specific other than that he was to return home _now_.  They didn't say when or even if he'd be returning.  They just had relayed their message and left those who couldn't comply with a heartache that would never be filled.

Through the Force, Jaina felt the probing of first Kyp through their bond, then Jacen through their twin connection.  A few seconds later, Jaina felt her mother reaching towards her as well, all three questioning her sadness.  Not wishing to enlighten them merely because it would be too painful, she was glad to be sidetracked from brushing them off as her door comm went off.

**Fulfill your destiny,  
Is there within the child,  
My storm will never end,  
My fate is on the wind,  
The king of hearts, the joker's wild,  
But we don't say goodbye,  
I'll make them all remember me**

Mara was standing outside, her red hair tied back in a tight braid, her green eyes calm but at the same time, very intense.  Silently Jaina stepped out of her way and the Jedi Master walked into the room.  Once she had passed, Jaina pressed the controls once more, letting the door slide shut again.  Mara had turned to face her and Jaina saw her former master's eyes softening.  There was a very pregnant pause before the older woman spoke, pulling Jaina into a hug.

"I'm so sorry, Jaina.  I know this isn't fair to you, even if you do have to appear heartless to the rest of the base."  Jaina just shook her head in Mara's shoulder, wishing to remain the most miserable one by telling Mara, however untruthfully, that her aunt had never gone through the same thing she was going through now.

**'Cause I have found a dream that must come true,  
Every ounce of me must see it though,  
But you are my only  
I'm sorry I don't have a role for love to play,  
Hand over my heart I'll find my way,  
I will make them give to me**

"Jaina, you know that that's not true.  I've been through just as much as you have, only I've known that Luke was going to return to me."  She paused, and Jaina looked up to her meet her aunt's piercing eyes.  "He loves you, you know.  He loves you so much, Jaina.  Even when you can't show it around in public, any time that boy looks at you, you can see it in his eyes."

For the first time since Jag had gone to the docking bay to start powering up his systems, Jaina flashed a small smile.  Knowing she must look pathetic with her hair falling out of it's ponytail and tearstains across her cheeks, she stepped back from Mara to wipe her eyes.  Mara's grip relaxed on her shoulders before one hand tightened again.  Jaina, unsure of why Mara was suddenly tense, glanced up.  What she saw on Mara's face was something she was totally unprepared for.  Her aunt stared at her, surprise easily evident in her features.

"What?"  Jaina glanced around behind her, saw nothing, then looked back at Mara.

"You're father's going to kill you, Jaina Solo."

**Immortality  
There is a vision and a fire in me  
I keep the memory of you and me, inside  
And we don't say goodbye  
We don't say goodbye  
With all my love for you  
And what else we may do  
We don't say, goodbye**


	8. Csilla

Jag's clawcraft broke landed smoothly on the docking bay, the eleven other crafts moving with him. As he went over his systems check, he glanced up once in time to see his father standing at the edge of the platform. Instantly he felt a twist of annoyance jab him, but quickly stifled the emotion. Mouthing off wouldn't get him a commission back to Mon Cal. Of course, at this rate nothing probably would.   
  
Feet touching the durasteel ground, Jag nodded to the rest of his squad. Each of them saluted him before turning to go inside. Instead of following, Jag walked over to the tall figure at the edge of the bay. General Baron Soontir Fel looked at his son, and Jag thought he saw a bit of muffled surprise at their eyes being on the same level. His father nodded silently to him, his face still blank.   
  
"Welcome back to Csilla, Colonel Fel. I'm sure our return trip was uneventful." The last bit, though some form of inquiry, was more a statement then anything else.   
  
The Baron turned on his heel, motioning for Jag to walk with him. A silent sigh forming on his lips, Jag quickly stifled it to walk next to his father.   
  
"Yes sir, it was."   
  
There was a lengthy pause, in which the only sound was the boots hitting the floor. They passed doors left and right, and a hallway here and there, then they stopped in front of what Jag recognized as his father's office. Of course it was because now he'd be hearing about his next mission, the mission that would probably delay him further from returning to Jaina. The General sat stiffly, though it was smooth enough to suggest that the man sitting was long used to the predicament. Jag stood alert on the other side of the desk, facing his father, hiding his agitation behind a bank expression.   
  
"At ease, Colonel. Now, would you mind telling me why you haven't reported for over six months?"   
  
Jag's standing position changed, his thoughts were no less soothed. The reason he hadn't reported in the last six months? How about that he didn't want to end his time with the GFFA? Or that he didn't want to leave Jaina? Was that good enough? No, of course not. It wouldn't be good enough because then his father would flip about his being in love with a Solo. Realizing he was staring absently into the wall behind his father's head, he quickly refocused his gaze.   
  
"Sir, I refrained from sending a report because I felt it would be incomplete if I sent it earlier. My observations would've been little more than suggestions or views on a situation, unless you are considering the few important battles we've engaged in."   
  
Jag took a breath to go on, only to be stopped by his father's hand. "What do you mean 'we', Jagged? There is no 'we'. You are not a part of the GFFA or the New Republic. You are not there to lend your pilots and their skills toward another government's problem."   
  
Knowing his chances of getting a court martial were growing higher with each passing minute, Jag threw all caution to the winds and instead just spilled his thoughts, not even first asking for permission to speak freely.   
  
"Alright, Father, if that explanation didn't satisfy you, then perhaps one similar to your own story with Mother will. I stayed, my squadron with me, because I wanted to make sure no harm came to the woman I love."   
  
If Jag had ever been asked when the first time he ever saw his father truly shocked was, he would've had to say right then and there.   
  
"Did you just say what I thought you said?" his father finally asked.   
  
"Sir, yes sir."   
  
Surprise drifted across his thoughts as he saw not anger, as he'd expected, crawling across his father's face, but rather, happiness. The elder Fel stood and walked around the desk, ignoring his slight limp as everyone else did, and clasped his son in a hug.   
  
"So who is she then?"   
  
Jag raised an inquisitive eyebrow as his father led him out of the office once more, now heading in the direction of his speeder. "You mean you're not going to lecture me on falling in love with a piece of 'Rebel scum'?"   
  
Soontir glanced over at his son's face, not exactly surprised by the question, but slightly interested in the way it was phrased. It sounded like something Han Solo would say. And nothing Han Solo would say or had effect on usually turned out good.   
  
"No, but the way you've phrased it has my attention piqued. Met Han Solo, have you?"   
  
Nodding, Jag inhaled deeply. Well, it was now or never. His father had asked who he loved and even the answer of 'Jaina' would lead him to the obvious conclusion of Jaina Solo. Han Solo's oldest and only daughter. An heir to the Solo name and all that came with it in his father's estimation. Releasing his breath, Jag heaved a sigh.   
  
"Jaina. Jaina Solo."


	9. Mon Cal

Jaina stared at Mara, confusion at the outburst etched in her face. The Jedi Master was staring at Jaina, her expression a mixture of overflowing happiness and annoyance...anger? No, not either. Worry? That might've been the best thought take on the emotion.   
  
"What, Mar-" Jaina cut off her sentence as she felt Mara's Force presence wash over her, the understanding at what Mara had discovered seeping with it. She hardly noticed that her jaw had dropped or that her hands were coming up to cover her mouth in disbelief.   
  
Mara seemed to realize what was going through her head because she grabbed at Jaina's elbow and quickly helped Jaina lower herself into the nearest chair. Her thoughts were whirling around what she and Jag had decided to do and what, apparently, her consequences were. But it wasn't the worst thing that could happen, was it...? Sweet Force, she was pregnant and she wasn't even married to the child's father! A sudden panic gripped her as she remembered why she'd been so sad earlier. Jag was gone. He'd left, disappeared into the endless black with white starlines space to return to Csilla. And he might not even return.   
  
Not until her aunt's fingers were wiping her face and then her arms were wrapping Jaina in a strained hug did she realize tears had escaped her control. This was all too much. What if Jag never returned? What if he got shot out of the sky in some dogfight? What if-   
  
Her aunt's fingers snapped in front of her face and Jaina stopped staring into space to look at Mara.   
  
"Don't even go there, Jaina. If you do, you'll 'what if' yourself insane."   
  
Jaina offered a small smile, saying, "Mara, I have the feeling that I lost my sanity a long, long time ago."   
  
"Yep." Mara raised her hand to Jaina's forehead. "Even under stress or anxiety you Solos still manage to maintain your sense of weird humor. Luke owes me major credits now."   
  
Jaina broke out into laughter, her worry temporarily forgotten in the humor Mara's words brought out. Some bet. Well, why not? It was always worth it to win something that was absolutely impossible to lose, especially if the other party in the bet thought that your deductions were wrong. But _Uncle Luke_, of all sentient beings, how could he have taken up on Mara's bet? He who had flown with her father during the Rebellion. Honestly.   
  
Mara was looking at her again, her face growing more serious with each passing moment of silence. She sat down across from Jaina and put her elbows on her knees, chin in her cupped hands.   
  
"What?"   
  
"Jaina...look, I realize you'll probably want to tell Jag- I'm assuming Jag's the father here- first, but have you, in the short time you've known you're pregnant, given thought to the fact that he may not return?"   
  
Jaina stiffened in her chair, blinking slowly. Of course the thought had come to her mind. It had been one of the first things to cross her mind. But Jag had promised...he'd _promised_ he'd never leave her. She just had to go by that. And hope to the ends of the universe that Jag would be coming home. Soon. _Really_ soon.   
  
Her aunt seemed to be guessing what was going on in her mind- either that, she'd probed through her barriers and figured out the thoughts she held.   
  
"Look, I'm not going to make you do anything and I'm not going to say a word to anyone, but I think you should either tell your parents or find some way to send a transmission to Jag. While that may not be the easiest way to do things like tell someone you're pregnant, it might help the situation of his returning or not-"   
  
Here, Jaina cut her off angrilly. "Jag's coming back. I know he is. He promised me he would."   
  
Across from her, Mara merely shook her head, something that Jaina didn't exactly want to see. Heaving a sigh, Jaina finally nodded.   
  
"Alright, fine. I'll find a comm station."


	10. Say Anything

_Lyrics: Say Anything by Good Charlotte_  
  
**Here I am on   
The phone again, and   
Awkward silence is   
On the other end**   
  
Zekk walked towards the GFFA military base on Mon Cal, knowing full well that the Twin Suns were stationed there. He knew that, plus he also knew that Blackmoon and Rogue were there. But the Spike squadron had been sent to a different location within the last few days. How he knew this? He had his sources. He was still a Jedi, even if not a pilot. The fact that a certain annoying Colonel led the Vanguards was a plus. The fact that said annoying Colonel wouldn't be there to drive him away from Jaina when she wasn't even interested in the arrogant nerfherder was even better. Only problem was, Jaina never returned any of his holocomm messages requesting to get together some time. He didn't know why and, about now, he really wanted to know.   
  
**I used to know the sound   
Of a smile in your voice   
But right now (right now)   
All I feel (All I feel)   
Is the pain of the fighting   
Starting up again**   
  
Maybe he shouldn't have left at Hapes. Maybe he was right to. The only thing he knew for sure was that it had been the hardest choice of his life. But he had had his reasons and good ones too. He had been the Darkest Knight. He couldn't just stand by and watch one of his friends fall to the clutches of the Dark side, even if he did care about them beyond your average friendship. He couldn't do that, because then he'd be drawn back in. He would've been nothing but a hindrance to Jaina's struggle against it. Somehow, she must've seen that as his deserting her. But he hadn't meant her to see it like that...in leaving, he had been thinking of her before himself.   
  
**All the things we talk about   
You know they stay on my mind   
On my mind **  
  
Zekk suddenly realized he was in the pilot's mess hall. A slight grin fastened itself in place slowly becoming real as he remembered previous times in other mess halls with Jaina and Jacen and Anakin. They were such fun times, even when they weren't possible anymore.   
  
But he had stuck by Jaina and her decisions. That was, he'd stuck by them all until the return trip from the Myrkr mission. When she had had her brush with the Dark side and didn't bounce right back before they made it to Hapes. In truth, when they'd gotten to Hapes, Zekk had assumed she'd be going on to Eclipse. Then again, he was shamed to admit, he was glad that she hadn't.   
  
**And all the things we laugh about   
They'll bring us through it every time   
After time after time**   
  
An infectious laughter caught his attention at once and he turned his gaze upon the table and its occupants. A group of pilots was sitting there, laughing their heads off. One of them, however, wasn't laughing. She had her brown hair back in a tight braid, her fists clenched on the table. Not knowing who it was, and not feeling any shame for use of the Force in this manner, he probed at her mind, trying to find out who she was. His probe was immediately met with durasteel walls.   
  
_Jedi_, Zekk thought immediately. He could think nothing more though, for the Jedi pilot turned to look at him, no doubt knowing who had sent the probe if they had been able to block it. Deep brandy eyes locked on his own green ones and almost instantly he knew who this upset pilot was.   
  
**Don't say a word   
I know you feel the same   
Just give me a sign   
Say anything, say anything**   
  
After a moment in which the laughter died to a null silence, Zekk watched Jaina as she stood slowly. The pilot next to her, Piggy, Zekk recalled, looked up quickly, his expression questioning. Jaina shook her head quickly and excused herself from the rest of the group. Her hastened strides quickly carried her towards the door to the mess hall and out into the hall. Zekk, knowing his way around the base somewhat well, walked back the way he came and jogged down the hall, making up easily for the distance between doors and the head start Jaina had had. He saw her walking at a calm pace towards another hallway. Even though she tried to act as if nothing were wrong, Zekk could easily see the tense muscles that remained so as she walked. Quickly, and so as not to lose his opportunity to talk with her, Zekk jogged up next to her and grabbed her shoulders. Jaina stopped walked as Zekk's grip tightened and she looked up at him, a raw emotion he had never seen directed at him evident in her eyes. It was as pure a form of venom and disgust as he had ever cared to witness and he involuntarily shuddered.   
  
**Please don't walk away   
I know you wanna stay   
Just give me a sign   
Say anything, say anything**   
  
"Jaina, look, I..." Zekk's voice trailed off as Jaina extricated herself from his grip, her jaw remaining locked together. _Just say something...anything... Please Jaina..._ he thought to himself. With startled realization, he saw Jaina stop, as if she'd heard his thoughts. She turned slowly, now five or so paces away again, and looked back at him.   
  
Without uttering a sound, she mouthed to words 'I hate you' to the air. And then she turned down yet another hallway and disappeared completely from Zekk's Force perceptions.   
  
**Some say that   
Time changes   
Best friends can   
Become strangers   
But I don't want that   
No, not for you   
If you just stay with me, we can make it through **  
  
  
He couldn't believe it, he really couldn't. Here he was, trying to make an effort, and Jaina was shunning him just as quickly as he was making attempts to mend whatever friendship there was left to salvage. But the other party, namely Jaina, didn't appear to have interest in mending the gaps. Trying to sort out the reasons, Zekk somewhat-calmly concluded that it was because Jaina had, as he'd suspected- or subconsciously known?- she had been, going out with Jagged Fel. Now she was in her state of despair, her time of loss. Well, if that's how her life was going right now, Zekk was prepared to stand by where the Imperial ex-boyfriend wouldn't.   
  
**Here we are again   
The same old argument   
And now I'm wonderin'   
If things'll ever change, yeah   
When will you laugh again?   
Laugh like you did back when?   
We'd make noise till ****3 AM**** and the neighbors would complain**   
  
He thought back to the mess hall, though, trying to reply anything that might've been said to cause her to leave so abruptly. Something that maybe he could help her with. However, as he went over it, a sudden thought hit him. _What if Jaina doesn't want to see you?_ Zekk played around with it, walking back towards the Jedi portion of things in the building, working his thoughts through it. Jaina had only looked at him when he had probed her with the Force, though he hadn't know it to be she. She had stared at him for hardly any time before exiting the mess hall in the farthest direction from him possible. And she'd all but wished him dead by the look in her eyes a few minutes ago. He knew, somehow, that he was what Jaina was shunning, even if Jagged Fel might also be in that same shunning. Either that, she'd seen something about him that she didn't like. He vaguely remembered meeting the Colonel. He was tall, black haired and had...green eyes. Zekk scowled at his mental picture of himself. There wasn't much he could do about his appearance, short of cosmetic surgery, so instead he was determined to make Jaina see past appearances and see him for who he was and not for who he looked like.   
  
Unfortunately for him, he had no clue how wrong he was.   
  
**All the things we talk about   
You know they stay on my mind   
On my mind   
And all the things we laugh about   
They'll bring us through it every time   
After time after time**


	11. If You're Not the One

_Lyrics: If You're Not the One by Daniel Bedingfield_  
  
**If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?   
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?   
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call   
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all**   
  
Jag sighed as he looked out the window of his room. While his squadron was 'happily' resting in the barracks, his father, no wait...General Baron Soontir Fel of the CEDF has ordered him home to see his mother. He'd abruptly closed all form of communication off when Jag had told him about Jaina.   
  
Jaina. How was she doing? Had she already forgotten about him? No, she couldn't have... Jag sighed as he pulled the datacard out of his pocket. On this datacard, and it was a nice thing, was a recorded holoimage of Jaina.   
  
**I never know what the future brings   
But I know you are here with me now   
We'll make it through   
And I hope you are the one I share my life with **  
  
His boots, slumped in an unruly pile on the floor, were kicked out of his way in passing. That was something the 'old' Jag never would've done. His boots would've been neatly standing together, as if an officer saluting were standing in them, just past his door. Now they were merely a duo of things in his way. His socked feet allowed him his movement silently around the room, into the hall and half-way down the stairs. Unfortunatley, mothers being mothers, his heard him. Either that, she just knew him too well to think that he'd not come down eventually and that he'd probably be in socks.   
  
"Jagged?" Jag winced slightly as he heard his mother call to him. No doubt she wanted to talk to him over some 'news' his father had surely told her.   
  
**I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand   
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?   
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms? **  
  
Instead of verbally replying, Jag walked bedrudgingly into the kitchen. Syal looked up, smiling slightly.   
  
"There you are," she said warmly.   
  
Jag nodded, a bit put out, but none the less took a chair from the dining room table and swung it around to sit in. His mother crossed around the counter and took a chair next to him. Somehow Jag got the feeling that this wouldn't be 'family fun time'.   
  
**If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?   
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?   
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?   
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife? **  
  
Syal sighed softly and Jag saw her hands settle and resettle, the only sign of his mother's nerves or unease, if that be what it was.   
  
Finally, she broke the rather awkward silence that was pressing between them. "Jag, I'm not going to try to beat around the subject." She paused to take a breathe, then continued. "Jaina Solo is Han's oldest child, is she not?"   
  
Jag started to nod, then thought better of it, his mind still half on Jaina's holoimage upstares. "Yes, she is."   
  
**I don't know why you're so far away   
But I know that this much is true   
We'll make it through   
And I hope you are the one I share my life with   
And I wish that you could be the one I die with   
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with   
I hope I love you all my life **  
  
Syal was silent again, then Jag heard the intake of breath that signified she was going to take say more. "I knew this was going to happen with all of my children when you were born, but I suppose I never thought about how soon it might happen. I want you to know that no matter what your father does or says in referrence to your relationship with Jaina, you shouldn't let it stop you from loving her."   
  
Silence reigned supreme for a moment before Jag reached over and hugged his mother. Syal hugged him until he pulled away and Jag found himself looking down at his mother's face. Suddenly the desire to tell his family, or at least the understanding part of it, everything.   
  
**I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand   
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am   
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?**   
  
"Mother..." Jag began, unsure if he wanted to finish. Syal just waited patiently. "Mother, I want to return to the Known Regions..."   
  
Here he paused again, still unable to voice his intent. Stiffening his resolve at the look from his mother, he plowed on. "I'm going to propose to Jaina when I get back there. It's just..."   
  
**'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away   
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today   
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right   
And though I can't be with you tonight   
And know my heart is by your side**   
  
But Jag never finished. Before he could elaborate on what he thought his father might say, Syal had him in a bone-breaking hug. They stayed locked in the embrace until they heard a voice clearing behind them. The pair broke apart, not unlike Jaina and he would when they heard footsteps. Jag glanced over his shoulder and saw his father standing there, face unreadable. He opened his mouth to put in a hurried comment, but his father held up a hand.   
  
"No, don't say anything Jag. I had a feeling that's what this was coming to. I can only go off in wonderment as to why you had to choose a Solo, but no matter. Vanguards are stationed here for the next week while we update your fighters, then I've given your squadron a commision back to the Known Regions to help my..." Soontir paused, expression becoming a scowl, "brother-in-law." And with that, he turned and walked away.   
  
**I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand   
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am   
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?**


	12. Anywhere But Here

_Lyrics: Anywhere But Here by Hilary Duff_  
  
**When I'm in a crowd   
Or on an island by myself   
Silent or too loud   
Wishing I was somewhere else   
And I can't believe   
You hit me fast and hard   
When you turn to me and say   
Never change the way you are**   
  
Jaina sighed as she looked over the datapad in her hand. This was definitely not going to stop her reluctance at keeping everything wrong in her life a secret. Sure, Mara had figured it out, but that was only because she was skilled in breaking past Jaina's barriers. How could she have been so stupid? She should've known these things...considering, after all, they were about herself. Mara had told her not to worry about it, since she hadn't known about Ben right off. Not that that made Jaina feel better.   
  
Maybe it was a selfish thought, maybe not, but whenever Jag was around, everything felt so right. Then, the moment he was gone, all her 'normalcy' went haywire. Not that there was ever anything normal in her line of work. And then Zekk had shown up...curse him, the fool. Rotten bit of Bantha fodder... Jaina sighed slightly, shaking her head.   
  
**Trying to catch your eye   
Things will never look the same   
Now I can't deny   
You're the moth and I'm the flame   
There I go again   
I should walk before I run   
How can I explain   
I can't stop what you've begun**   
  
Abruptly she turned the datapad off and put it back into her pocket. She needed something to do; something, anything. So, for lack of better idea, Jaina began pacing back and forth in front of the table in her quarters. A millisecond later, she felt Kyp's inquiring probe. Yes Kyp, she was absolutely fine, honestly.   
  
Unable to think of anything more to do with her 'free time' that would keep the Jedi Master from probing her every five minutes, Jaina brushed a hand over the control panel, sending a mental summon to Kyp as she did so. Kyp could 'escort' her to her Uncle's, then leave her there. As of three days ago, when Jag left, she found the only person she was completely at ease around was her aunt. Not that it was hard to understand that, of course. Her summon was countered with another mental brush, merely one of confirmation, not of any question lingering in waiting to be answered.   
  
**I'm falling through the door   
Flying 'cross the floor   
When you look at me suddenly it's clear   
You're burning up my dreams   
Crazy as it seems   
I don't wanna be anywhere but here   
Anywhere but here**   
  
It took her a minute, but when she actually took in what she was seeing, Jaina blinked, a bit put off. Zekk was standing outside her door, hand raised as if he were just about ready to key the door comm. What the frill was he doing here? Jaina scowled up at him, going through a bit of a struggle to keep that simple an expression on her face. Couldn't he leave her alone? He certainly had no trouble in doing that after Myrkr.   
  
Zekk opened his mouth as if he were about to comment, but Jaina brushed past him, unconsciously taking in that her door had closed after she'd step through it. Zekk turned to follow her progress along the short walk to the next door as it opened. Kyp stepped into the hall, nearly running into Jaina as she came up parallel with him.   
  
"Let's go, Kyp," she said, voice low.   
  
Jaina saw Kyp glance back at Zekk, could feel the question lingering in his mind as he looked back at her, but she didn't offer any explanation. Kyp was smart enough not to press the subject, thankfully. Before they'd gotten halfway around their route to the Skywalker apartments, a voice called out behind them.   
  
**What goes on inside   
Is a mystery no doubt   
A roller coaster ride   
I may never work it out   
Here's the brand new me   
Skates around and floats on air   
I'm a sight to see   
Rainbow colors in my hair   
You have set me free   
The one who gets me there**   
  
"Goddess, a word?"   
  
She glanced over to see Wedge coming up behind them, a smile on his face. A quick glance at Kyp told her he was just as interested in what the General had to say as she was. With a raised eyebrow, Jaina dipped her head over so slightly in assent.   
  
"Great One, I thought perhaps you might be interested in the report we've just received." He handed her a datacard before he went on, elaborating. "It's actually a transmission from Csilla. There was specific information that was requested to be given to you only, however, the information not on that datacard is linked to Colonel Fel and his return to the Known Regions." Immediately Jaina's outlook on life brightened. Wedge must've picked up on whatever had appeared on her face, for his smile got larger. "He's returning with Vanguard Squadron in five days. I thought I might pass that information along to you."   
  
**I'm falling through the door   
Flying 'cross the floor   
When you look at me suddenly it's clear   
You're burning up my dreams   
Crazy as it seems   
I don't wanna be anywhere but here   
Anywhere but here**   
  
Any thought of going to her aunt's was immediately rerouted. She watched as Wedge walked away, unable to keep an insanely weird grin off her face. Absently she turned the datacard over in her hand, weaving it through her fingers. Thoughts she had harbored about wanting to leave this place were dismissed. She looked over at Kyp once more and offered him a trademark Solo grin.   
  
"Change of plans. Back to the barracks." Kyp laughed softly as they retraced their steps to their original starting point. Thankfully Zekk was gone when they approached. Kyp waited until Jaina was inside her apartment before leaving, but she hardly noticed. Instead she was changing the datacards in her datapad. Immediately the information appeared. It was a coded message, sent in such a way that no one but Jaina would be able to read it. Silently she answered the request of decode password and watched the message appear.   
  
**Here is the place where   
My head is spinning   
Time is beginning   
To race away   
You come to throw me   
Knock me off my feet   
You give me wings to fly   
The world goes crashing by again**


	13. Drops of Jupiter

_Lyrics: Drops of Jupiter by Train_  
  
**Now that she's back in the atmosphere   
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey   
She acts like summer and walks like rain   
Reminds me that there's time to change, hey, hey**   
  
Jag smiled at the slowly revolving mass that was Mon Cal. Vanguards had just been cleared for landing, their orders being transmitted now. Even though he was still in the cockpit of his clawcraft, hovering a good thousand or more kilometers above the planet, Jag's thoughts were completely elsewhere. Specifically, they were with a brown-haired, brandy-eyed, sharp-tongued Yuuzhan Vong Goddess who happened to command Twin Suns. _Well, that description certainly left no doubt as to who she is,_ Jag mused to himself.   
  
**Since the return from her stay on the moon   
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey**   
  
Mara grabbed Jaina's shoulder as her niece made a run at the door. It was pretty clear why she was doing that, as it was rather hard to ignore the sudden supernova presence now residing close at hand in the Force. And while this presence was completely devoid of Force sensitivity, it was still brighter than some of the Jedi's Mara had come to know.   
  
"Jaina, calm down, honestly," Mara told her former apprentice, keeping a firm grip on her shoulder even as she allowed herself to be pulled towards the door by the younger woman's sheer determined force.   
  
**Tell me did you sail across the sun   
Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded   
And that heaven is overrated**   
  
"You rethink what you did last time Luke was away for a while and you felt his Force presence suddenly reappear, and _then_ you may tell me to calm down." Mara grinned slightly at the recollection, considering her niece had a point. "Now, if you don't mind, let me go."   
  
Mara sighed and shook her head, releasing Jaina's shoulder. Before she could sprint off, however, Mara had her arm hooked in her own and was walking her off towards the hanger. "There will be no unseemly entrance for a goddess, Jaina Solo."   
  
That seemed to remind Jaina of her role and she immediately extricated her arm from Mara's, straightening her posture. "Very well, lead the way."   
  
**Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star   
One without a permanent scar   
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there**   
  
Jag's clawcraft had finished powering down, his post-flight checklist all complete, as protocol would demand. He was now standing on the hanger bay floor talking with his Uncle and Colonel Celchu about his 'trip'. The rest of his squadron had already filtered out of the hanger bay to find a place to sleep and Jag would've done something similar- except he would've gone to find Jaina- had he not been stopped. A hiss sounded across the hanger, indicating that another person or persons had entered. The sounds of footsteps, two people it sounded like, got closer, though Jag remained attentive to his Uncle's words.   
  
Behind him, the footsteps halted, maybe three steps away, judging by how close the sound had been before. Jag saw Tycho glance down quickly, trying and failing to hide a smile. Jag raised an eyebrow and looked at his uncle only to find the General covering his mouth with one hand, the other prodding Tycho to make him move. Shaking his head, Jag sighed and then looked around. Of course, he didn't actually get a chance to take in the figures behind him as one of them was suddenly hugging all his breath out of him.   
  
**Now that she's back from that soul vacation   
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey   
She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo   
Reminds me that there's time to grow, hey, hey**   
  
Mara circled around her niece and Jag, instead moving to prod Wedge and Tycho in the backs, making them move. Wedge glanced over, mouth open as if he were about to utter a rebuke, then it snapped shut as he saw who she was. Tycho, still grinning insanely, had obliged the Jedi Master's demand for them to move away and had already started walking towards the exit.   
  
As Wedge muttered a complaint, Mara raised an expectant eyebrow, waiting for him first to finish, then to get a move on. Either way, by pure force or by his own will, he was leaving the hanger bay. Mara was sure of that.   
  
**Now that she's back in the atmosphere   
I'm afraid that she might think of me as plain ol' Jane   
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land**   
  
Jaina hung onto Jag as if her life depended on it, happily breathing in the scent of spice that always seemed to linger around him. Absently she felt herself being pulled into his embrace even as she buried her face in his chest. The vibrations there, coupled with the soft sound Jag was making told her he was chuckling softly. Jaina pulled back, her classically stubborn face clearly displayed on her face. Any remark she might've been contemplating, however, was cut short by the kiss Jag gave her.   
  
**Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet   
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day   
And head back to the Milky Way   
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind   
Was it everything you wanted to find   
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there**   
  
As to how long they stood in the circle of each other's embrace, Jaina had not a clue, nor a care. Everything had just gotten brighter in her world, merely because Jag was back. Sure, she still had a lovely little surprise to drop on him... She pushed the thought out of her mind at this point though, because that was not the kind of thing you dropped onto a person the moment they landed their fighter in the docking bay.   
  
**Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken   
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong   
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone conversation   
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me**   
  
Mara continued to prod Wedge and Tycho in the backs, even after they'd cleared the hanger exit. Her thoughts and reasons on this matter where quashed, however, the moment her gaze fell upon another figure. Tycho and Wedge continued on, each filtering into their respective offices, as Mara fixed the Jedi with a glare.   
  
"Zekk," she nodded to him, unmoving otherwise.   
  
Zekk nodded to her in return, his darkened gaze not ever truly meeting hers. "You wouldn't happen to know where Jaina was, would you?"   
  
It took all of her time as a Jedi and ever more reliance on the Force than she would've thought she was capable of at this point to keep from strangling Zekk and telling him to let it go, that Jaina was never going to be his again. "Yes, I have, but she's not available at this moment." Thinking quickly, Mara added, "And Luke asked me to find you; he'd like to have a quick chat."   
  
**Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet   
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day   
And head back toward the Milky Way**


	14. You're Still The One

_You're Still The One by Shania Twain_

**(When I first saw you, I saw love.   
And the first time you touched me, I felt love.   
And after   
all this time, you're still the one I love.)**

Jaina smiled softly at the mirror as she wrapped a towel around herself, wiping away the steam from the mirror face. One month, one month. She'd now been pregnant for one month. However, Jag was, thankfully, back on Mon Calamari and that meant that everything would be alright. Towel secured, she rung her hair out over the sink and then walked back out towards her bedroom to get her clothes. Two steps out of the 'fresher were enough to change her plans. An arm circled around the front of her shoulders possessively, another hand covering her mouth. Jaina's first thought was to panic and do whatever she had to do to get away from whoever was holding her, not only to protect herself, but also to protect her child. An instant before she moved to do just that, her Force connection told her not to. 

**Looks like we made it   
Look how far we've come my baby   
We mighta took the long way   
We knew we'd get there someday**

The arms around her loosened at once as she started to pivot around to greet her 'captor'. Jag's grinning face was staring down at her the entire time she made her half-circle in his arms. Whether his grin was for her or for the fact that he'd finally succeeded in catching her off-guard, she didn't know. Either way, it caused her to grin. 

"You got me," she said simply. Jag's grin broadened and, before he could say anything more, Jaina put a hand behind his head and pulled him down to her. Before Jag had a chance to do much more than momentarily respond to her kiss, Jaina pulled away, giggling slightly. "Uh-uh, flyboy; that's the price for startling me." And before Jag could protest further, Jaina slinked into her bedroom, activating the door behind her. 

**They said, "I bet they'll never make it"   
But just look at us holding on   
We're still together still going strong**

Twenty minutes later, Jaina walked back into the main living quarters of her rooms, deciding on merely skipping breakfast for the day. However, on second thought, she changed her mind and grabbed a nutrition bar off the table. Then she walked over to where Jag was seated on the couch reviewing a datapad and it's occupants. When he didn't look up, Jaina halted her tracks, still safely out of his line of view. Carefully, she put the nutrition bar down on the nearest surface- a small table- and tiptoed the rest of the distance to him. When she was right behind him, she raised a hand and, careful not to make noise, pinched him on the back of the neck. Jag's shoulders involuntarily scrunched up towards his neck, causing Jaina to burst out in a fit of giggles. 

**(You're still the one)   
You're still the one I run to   
The one that I belong to   
You're still the one I want for life   
(You're still the one)   
You're still the one that I love   
The only one I dream of   
You're still the one I kiss good night**

Totally helpless to move again while she was laughing, Jaina watched as Jag got up and came around the chair, a grin on his face. It wasn't one of his subtle, hidden grins that only she could see, but a true grin, something no one would've mistaken. Realizing she was now staring at him, and probably had been for more than a few seconds, Jaina returned the expression. Jag raised an eyebrow as he closed the distance between them, his grin still in place. 

**Ain't**** nothin' better   
We beat the odds together   
I'm glad we didn't listen   
Look at what we would be missin'**

Jaina couldn't help but smile as he feathered a kiss on her lips, even if she would've liked something more. _Of course,_ the nasty little voice giggled across her head, _you **did** do the same thing to him._ Mentally she scowled at the voice, telling it to shut up. Her Jag was back, and that's all that mattered. However...well, that didn't mean she didn't have something to tell him... 

**They said, "I bet they'll never make it"   
But just look at us holding on   
We're still together still going strong**

Jag had pulled away already, so Jaina merely stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him firmly once more. She grinned into the kiss as she felt Jag respond, even as his arms moved to encircle her once more. For a few moments, the two explored the other's mouths, only pulling away when the need for oxygen came up. Jaina smiled, more to herself than to Jag, and lay her head on his chest. A soft sigh escaped her and she looked back up at Jag. He was already looking down at her. 

"Jag...I've got something to tell you..."

**(You're still the one)   
You're still the one I run to   
The one that I belong to   
You're still the one I want for life   
(You're still the one)   
You're still the one that I love   
The only one I dream of   
You're still the one I kiss good night******


	15. You Learn

_You Learn__ by Alanis Morissette_

**I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone   
I recommend walking around naked in your living room   
Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)   
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)   
Wait until the dust settles**

Still in his embrace, Jaina was looking down at her hands as they clasped together in front of her. Jag watched the crown of her head, her chestnut hair falling forward to create a sort of frame around her face. The fact that she had suddenly become so serious, suddenly lost some sense of 'fun', set unconscious warning bells off inside his head. He didn't know what to think. What if she had some deadly disease? What if they were sending her off to some other base? What if- 

Jaina was looking up at him again, one eyebrow raised at him. Jag offered her a weak smile, still unsure if he wanted to hear this 'I have something to tell you'. 

"Jagged Fel, you can 'what if' yourself to death, and if you do that, you're going to start sounding a lot like Jacen. It has nothing to do with a disease or being given a new assignment," she said, extricating herself from his grip. Instead, she walked to the back of the chair he had been sitting in, thumbs kneading into the material. "Jag... I'm pregnant." 

**You live you learn   
You love you learn   
You cry you learn   
You lose you learn   
You bleed you learn   
You scream you learn**

Jag, who had been ready to go to stand at her side, stopped short of taking the step forward. Shock lingered around in his mind, reverberating around the sudden void there. _Pregnant?__ Impossible..._ Suddenly he realized she was looking at him again, waiting for him to say something. Her face almost looked as if she were expecting him to pass judgment. 

Watching her, his mind finally seemed to come up with a sentence that had proper structure. Unfortunately, his tongue didn't seem to be quite about to wrap around it. Knowing that if he spoke straight off it would sound rather blatantly messed up, he took a calming breath- or as calming as was possible in the present situation- and retuned his gaze to hers. 

"Y-you're pregnant..." he repeated, almost as if it were more to himself than her. Jaina nodded carefully, her face still tight, seemingly unsure as to what she should say. Jag walked around the chair she was standing in front of and immediately slumped himself in it. 

"Wow," was all he could say for a minute. "Wow." Then he looked over at Jaina, who had come around the side of the chair carefully. "That's," a smile began to shine on his face, "wonderful!" 

**I recommend biting off more then you can chew to anyone   
I certainly do   
I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time   
Feel free   
Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)   
Hold it up (to the rays)   
You wait and see when the smoke clears**

If anything, that was the complete opposite of what Jaina had expected him to say. _Well,_ she thought, _at least he doesn't think I've been sleeping around with other guys while he was gone._

Before she could think anything else, she was being pulled into a hug by a thoroughly overenthusiastic Jag Fel. Jaina smiled into his shirt as he kissed the top of her head, then buried her face in the spice-scented cloth. Everything was going to be okay, everything... 

Jaina's head jolted up at a sudden though. What the Sith was she going to tell her parents? Leia would most likely have more than a few comments to make, while her father... She paled at the thought. Han Solo, with all of his protective nature, was dead serious when he said it was carbonite for whoever touched his daughter. She just hoped it wouldn't end up that way for Jag. Her father wouldn't do that to her, not when she needed Jag most, would he? A nasty little part of her conscience quickly corrected her pleading thought with an answer of, _Of course he would._

**You live you learn   
You love you learn   
You cry you learn   
You lose you learn   
You bleed you learn   
You scream you learn**

Across the room, Jaina was lying on the couch, her hair down and splattered across the arm of the piece of furniture and then off and across her face. Jag stood in the doorway, watching her as she slept, a slight smile on his face. While she slept, she seemed to have no troubles at all, her dreams untouched by daily life. 

With a soft sigh, he walked over to the couch, one hand in his jacket pocket, fingering the small box there. Part of him was nervous, nervous she'd say no, nervous merely because it seemed the feeling to be right now. And while Jag was used to feeling more than his usual emotion around Jaina Solo, he never would get used to the effect she held over his nerves. 

However, hadn't she told him only a few hours ago about her own 'problem'? Her worry? Her fear of the month...or, rather, her fear for the next nine months? Actually, it was probably more like the next eight months, since there was no way she could've gotten pregnant just a week ago, since he was in the Unknown Regions. And Jag most certainly didn't' think she would've told him if it hadn't been he who would be blamed by Han Solo for getting his daughter pregnant. 

**Wear it out (the way a three-year-old would do)   
Melt it down (you're gonna have to eventually anyway)   
The fire trucks are coming up around the bend**

With a slight sigh, Jag walked over to where Jaina lay asleep, her face unaltered from a moment before. Smiling very slightly at the face, Jag pushed a wisp of hair that had fallen across her face back behind her ear. Jaina's face turned ever-so-slightly so that her lips met his palm. 

Her eyes flicked open to stare at him, a smile lighting her features. Silently, Jag thanked the stars that he had returned to base the night before Twin Suns had a day off. That left the entirety of this day to him and Jaina. Now if only he could think of a way to get the words out the right way. 

Jaina stretched while he thought, getting the kinks out of her neck and arms from sleeping on a couch. Not that they weren't comfortable, mind, but it wasn't as good as an actual bed. Jag glanced over at Jaina, watching her as she sat up, hands quickly braiding up her loose hair. Deciding it was now or never, Jag's fingers closed on the box in his pocket. 

**You live you learn   
You love you learn   
You cry you learn   
You lose you learn   
You bleed you learn   
You scream you learn**

Jaina gaped as Jag got down on one knee in front of her, expression dead serious. Immediately, before he even said anything, she knew what he was going to say. Still, her mind wasn't quite functioning at the rate it normally would be after she'd just woken up. No, it was functioning at 'You are now in a state of shock' level. 

"Jaina, I realize this might seem a bit out of place, considering everything else you've said today. This hasn't been effected at all by what you told me; I had wanted to ask you this long before now," he said. Then, taking a deep breath, he asked her, "Jaina Solo, will you marry me?" 

She stared at him, still frozen in shock, for a few seconds, not noticing his hand had come from his pocket. Blinking once, she felt a smile skim across her face. Before he could say or do anything, she pulled him up from his kneeling position, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him. When they drew apart, Jag had a smile on his face that was nearly as big as her own. "I take that as a yes?" 

"Yes, it is," Jaina agreed, smiling up at him. 

**You grieve you learn   
You choke you learn   
You laugh you learn   
You choose you learn   
You pray you learn   
You ask you learn   
You live you learn**


	16. Numb

_Numb__ by Linkin Park_

**I'm tired of being what you want me to be   
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface   
Don't know what you're expecting of me   
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes   
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)   
Every step that I take is another mistake to you   
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)**

Han Solo stared at his daughter, his oldest child, his mechanically-inclined, most wonderful and _only_ daughter. The same daughter who had become very scarce since a certain Chiss Colonel had returned from the Unknown Regions three weeks ago. And now she was sitting here with his wife, staring at her hands after she'd told them a rather startling piece of news. What Han couldn't understand is how the need to tell them that news had taken place. Sure, he knew the _technical_ side of it, but the whole _idea_ that Jaina was sexually involved with anyone, not just Jagged Fel but anyone, was startling to him. She was also 20 years old. 

He sighed at himself, unable to see how he could've missed his daughter growing up in her own eyes. And only in her own eyes, because it certainly wasn't in his. Han was startled out of his thoughts by Jaina's pleading voice making it to his ears. 

"Dad... please say something..." as she spoke she looked pleadingly at him, causing Han to remember other times she'd pulled off other pleading faces. None of that happened to count in credit to him right now. 

"You want me to say something?" Han finally asked, rather sarcastically, his face hardening. "Fine. I'll say something." 

**I've become so numb I can't feel you there   
I've become so tired so much more aware   
I'm becoming this all I want to do   
Is be more like me and be less like you**

Jaina stared at her father in something like horror as he began to talk. This certainly hadn't been what she'd wanted, though she knew that he would go off on this thread. She just didn't want to have to hear it. 

"Jaina Solo, how in all the Corellian hells could you go off and get married behind our backs?! Why couldn't you have told us before, perhaps, say, _before_ this precious 'husband' of yours came back? And speaking of whom, the next time I catch him out of hiding, he goes straight into carbonite. He's not good enough for you; you know that, I know that. And this whole business with being pregnant with Sithing Jagged Fel's child-" 

"That's quite enough, Han," Leia said quietly. Jaina felt her mother's hand rubbing up and down her spine and the comforting brush from her in the Force. That didn't stop Jaina from putting her face in her hands as tears started down her cheeks. She knew her father hadn't even said half of what he wanted to, knew it thanks to being able to read him in the Force. But that didn't make her feel any better. At this point, she wondered if anything she ever did could ever measure up to her father wanted. It just didn't seem like she'd ever be able to please him any more. She just wanted to be allowed to live her life the way she wanted to. Without having to have it hanging over her that her father, her idol father, disapproved of soemthing she'd done. 

Across the room, Jaina heard the Corellian ex-smuggler muttering various curses under his breath as he leaned against a wall. Some of them were in Shyriiwook, others in Corellian, and some in languages Jaina herself hadn't spoken in quite a while. Finally she heard something coming out in Basic. "Kriffin' nerfherder. Of all people, my daughter had to choose a full-blood Corellian who's father is and Imperial Baron. Just wonderful. Vapin' wonderful." 

**Can't you see that you're smothering me   
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control   
Cause everything that you thought I would be   
Has fallen apart right in front of you   
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)   
Every step that I take is another mistake to you   
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)   
And every second I waste is more than I can take**

Before he said anything else, Jaina stood up quickly, ignoring the lightheaded dizziness that flashed across her senses. Instead, she used the Force to steady herself and hit the control panel for the door. A second later, she was out of the apartment, making a run for her own quarters. Nearly there, Jaina felt the momentary energy she'd had at leaving her parents' place disappear. To add to it, she was feeling extremely nauseous. 

A strong pair of hands gripped her shoulders just as she felt ready to collapse on the floor. The hands were accompanied by a gentle yet firm connection in her bond with Kyp. The Jedi Master scooped her into his arms, saying nothing verbally. Jaina tucked her head against Kyp's chest as she let him carry her into her quarters, not caring that this was totally out of her 'I'll do it myself, thank you very much' attitude. 

Kyp set her down on her side, her head resting against the arm of the couch. Jaina watched him walk over to the counter and grab a nutrient bar which he, in turn, offered to her. She merely shook her head, not in the mood for eating anything at the moment. Instead, she hid her face in the material of the couch, feeling tears start in trailing down her cheeks again. 

**I've become so numb I can't feel you there   
I've become so tired so much more aware   
I'm becoming this all I want to do   
Is be more like me and be less like you**

"Jaina," Kyp said, forcing her face out of the couch to look at him. When she looked at him, his face fell as he saw tears running down her cheeks. Quickly the silver-haired Jedi pulled her into a hug, taking care to avoid squishing her against him, as her stomach was now beginning to show signs she was pregnant. Jaina merely buried her face in Kyp's chest, clinging to him like he was her lifeline. 

The door released a moment later and Kyp looked over to see Jag entering. The pilot looked between his wife and his wife's partner, a worried expression evolving on his face. Kyp rubbed Jaina's back with his free hand, then pulled away, looking back to Jag. Jaina merely curled up on the couch, closing her eyes to attempt sleep. Kyp stood up and walked over to Jag, stopping him from going over to Jaina for the moment. 

**And I know   
I may end up failing too   
But I know   
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you**

"What's wrong?" Jag asked as soon as Kyp was in range of hearing his lowered voice. The Jedi Master looked back at Jaina, sighing softly, then returned Jag's stare. 

"Her father," the older man said. 

Jag sighed, cringing inwardly. He loved Jaina, always would, and it hated him to see her torn in two between him and the rest of her family. Even when she denied feeling torn in half, Jag knew she was just saying it so he would feel better over whatever was wrong. It hadn't been working as of late. Jaina was having a bad enough time as it was, what with her morning sickness that was really all-day sickness. Add that to having to deal with her father being a bit less than supportive... Jag sighed again. 

Instead of requesting further information from Kyp, he nodded and walked over to Jaina, who was doing her best to try and rest. Jag reached over to her and brushed her hair from her face, kissing her tenderly on the forehead. Jaina opened her eyes at once, looking up at him. 

**I've become so numb I can't feel you there   
I've become so tired so much more aware   
I'm becoming this all I want to do   
Is be more like me and be less like you**

"Mm?" she mumbled, not truly awake, yet not truly asleep. 

Jag smiled down at her, his expression a bit less serious then it had been a few minutes ago. His cupped hand rested on her cheek as he kneeled in front of the couch. "Jaina, I'm sorry, really." He stopped when she shook her head, but decided to go on instead. He'd received a code encrypted message from his mother and in that message she'd asked Jag to come back for a visit again, and to bring Jaina so they could meet her before she decided she wanted to stick to one planet. 

When she appeared to be more attentive, he continued. "I got a message from my mother. She invited you to come visit out on Csilla." Jag watched her face as she thought about it, eyes boring into his. At last a hint of a smile appeared on her face, and she nodded. 

"So long as I don't have to worry about another performance about how I shouldn't be married to you," she said, her smile wavering. Jag pulled her into a loose hug, and as he did so, he heard her whisper something to him. "Jag, can we bring Kyp?" 

**I've become so numb I can't feel you there   
Tired of being what you want me to be   
I've become so numb I can't feel you there   
Tired of being what you want me to be**


	17. Taking Over Me

_Taking Over Me__ by Evanescence_

**You don't remember me but I remember you   
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you   
but who can decide what they dream?   
And dream I do...**   
  
Kyp stared out the viewport, watching the blackness of hyperspace as it swirled around him. Here he was, on board Mara Jade's _Jade Shadow_. Jaina's former master had lent the craft to her niece for the journey to Csilia. Mainly, Kyp knew, she wanted a full report from Jaina as to what Soontir Fel had to say about a ship with the name 'Jade' in the title. Mara had, after all, crashed another such named ship into a 'few' of Fel's ships, single-handedly sparking destroying the Chiss fleet under the General's command.   
  
**I believe in you   
I'll give up everything just to find you   
I have to be with you to live to breathe   
you're taking over me**   
  
He looked away from the viewport, tired of staring into the nothingness presented there. A soft sound from his door and a gentle brush in the Force sent his attention to the door as it slid open. Jaina, dressed in a plain set of pants and a tank top, entered the room, casting a glance around it. She seemed to have something on her mind, for it took her a minute to finally rest her gaze on Kyp.   
  
The Jedi Master merely waited, watching her. She offered him a weak smile then moved to sit down next to him as Kyp shifted over to make room for her petite form. Jaina sighed softly, and Kyp offered her a reassuring smile. Yet on the inside...on the inside, Kyp felt his heart beginning to start a fresh crack. Force he loved Jaina... But it could never be.   
  
**Have you forgotten all I know   
and all we had?   
You saw me mourning my love for you   
and touched my hand   
I knew you loved me then**   
  
Even as he watched her, silently offering comfort in their bond, Kyp kept part of him locked away to only himself. That was the part of him that ached to be the one Jaina called upon to support her, the one to sit laughing with her as they watched children with a mix of their features tumble in the grass... Quickly he stifled the thoughts, knowing he wouldn't be able to keep them blocked from his bond with Jaina if he continued into them. Jag Fel was the one who was meant to be with Jaina, the one the Force had destined her to be with.   
  
Kyp sighed faintly, turning to look at her. She was still silently staring at her hands. Raising one of his own, he took both hers in his, smiling reassuringly. "What's wrong, Jaina?"   
  
**I believe in you   
I'll give up everything just to find you   
I have to be with you to live to breathe   
you're taking over me**   
  
Kyp saw her shrug ever so slightly, yet he could sense the unsettled emotions swirling around in her mind, feel them in their bond. At last she seemed to collect her thoughts.   
  
"I'm worried, Kyp." That was a pretty obvious thing, though Kyp didn't point this out to her. As of late, Jaina had taken to snapping at anyone who she thought was patronizing her. Instead, he just listened to her, all the while hearing his heart cracking in the background. "What if we come back and Dad still isn't over this?"   
  
She turned to look at him and Kyp saw tears beginning to collect in her eyes.   
  
**I look in the mirror and see your face   
if I look deep enough   
so many things inside that are just like you are taking over**   
  
He reached over to her and quickly pulled Jaina into a hug, his arms all but engulfing her. Jaina's forehead rested against his shoulder as she shed the tears silently. After a few minutes, in which time no sound was heard other than a slight sob from Jaina every now and then, Kyp finally released Jaina, pulling away slightly.   
  
"Jaina, he won't stay mad at you. This is your father we're talking about." As he said it, Kyp realized with a mental frown that those weren't the most comforting words. His brow furrowed as he mentally thought out the double meaning in them. This _was_ her father they were talking about here...   
  
**I believe in you   
I'll give up everything just to find you   
I have to be with you to live to breathe   
you're taking over me**   
  
Jaina looked up at him, a slight grin on her face. "Kyp, that doesn't help." She reached up with one hand to wipe her cheeks, her other hand falling to her lap. With a sigh, Jaina shook her head and was silent for another few seconds. Then she merely shrugged. "I guess I can't worry about it now... I don't want to be a miserable guest for Jag's family." She heaved a sigh and stood up. One step was taken towards the door before Jaina turned again, came back to Kyp, and kissed him on the cheek. _Thanks Kyp,_ she said to him, this time through their bond.   
  
And with that, Jaina left the cabin. Kyp watched her form as it retreated back to the cockpit. The cockpit and Jagged Fel. He sighed again, unable to banish the image of them together. But even as he watched it in his mind's eye, he knew it would never be attainable. Slowly, as if liquid were drenching it, the picture faded. Soon it was merely a watermark of wishes that would not be fulfilled.   
  
**Taking over me   
your taking over me   
taking over me   
taking over me**


	18. A New Day Has Come

_A New Day Has Come__ by Celine Dion_

**A new day, oh..oh..   
A new day, oh..oh..   
I was waiting for so long   
For a miracle to come   
Everyone told me to be strong   
Hold on and don't shed a tear**   
  
The steps sounding on durasteel prompted Jag to look up from the control console. Jaina was making her way towards him, her fingers absently brushing the panes of the _Shadow_'s various screens and consoles she knew so well. With a slight smile, one that hardly made it past his iron-self control, Jag took one last look out the viewport to see the blackness of swirling hyperspace.   
  
Next second, he had taken to his feet. He met Jaina halfway across the open cockpit, his smile more pronounced. As he watched her, his hand rose to touch her cheek, the movement ending with him pushing her loose hair behind her ear. Without a second's hesitation, Jag kissed her forehead softly, then her lips.   
  
**Through the darkness and good times   
I knew I'd make it through   
And the world thought I had it all   
But I was waiting for you   
Hush, now**   
  
Seconds later, Jag ended the kiss he'd started and kept simple only to rest his chin on the top of Jaina's head. She, in turn, had taken to resting her head on his chest, held in his embrace. After a moment, he drew back, his smile flickering brighter. It was hard for him to _not_ smile around Jaina, especially at a time like this.   
  
True, he had his worries and doubts about bringing home a girl...well, woman really, that he was only engaged to who was already two months-plus pregnant. His father would have an endless list of things to say- or not say, for that matter...- about this, and his mother would probably immediately dive into making plans first for the wedding, then set out pampering her daughter-in-law and mother-of-her-first-grandchild to be.   
  
**I see a light in the sky   
Oh, it's almost blinding me   
I can't believe   
I've been touched by an angel with love   
Let the rain come down and wash away my tears   
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears   
Let it shatter the walls for a new sun   
A new day has... come   
Oh...**   
  
Jaina sighed happily into Jag's chest, her arms wrapped loosely around his torso. His arms were wrapped around her, if not a bit tighter, but she really didn't mind. With a smile that was more to herself than him, she lifted her head from his chest, causing him to need to lift his chin from her head.   
  
Her smile turning into something like a tusk-cat's who knew she'd gotten her prey, Jaina watched as Jag recognized that he was on the losing side of this little operation. Quickly, one of Jaina's hands freed themselves from behind his back and instead moved to pull his head down to her level. Seconds later, his lips were sealed over hers.   
  
**Where it was dark now there's light   
Where there was pain now there's joy   
Where there was weakness, I found my strength   
All in the eyes of a boy   
Hush, now**   
  
Unconsciously, Jaina felt herself being pulled towards Jag, even as he took a step back. Next thing she knew, she was quite comfortably positioned in his lap. That fact was immediately ignored by the sensation of Jag's lips moving from her mouth down across her pulse point, then furthermore to her collarbone.   
  
There was a pause, in which Jaina put two fingers under Jag's chin and pulls his lips back to hers, but other than that? Nothing out of the ordinary.   
  
**I see a light in the sky   
Oh, it's almost blinding me   
I can't believe   
I've been touched by an angel with love   
Let the rain come down and wash away my tears   
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears   
Let it shatter the walls for a new sun   
A new day has...**   
  
Jaina finally pulled away from Jag with a slight giggle, uncomfortably aware that she'd somehow managed to move closer to him...something that didn't seem like a very large possibility given their current status of him sitting in a chair, her in his lap. Jag shifted slightly beneath her and she grinned at him, winking quickly.   
  
The next seconds were lost to whatever was out in hyperspace watching in the viewport. Jag had, once again, taken possession of her mouth, something she had no objections to in any way shape or form.   
  
**Let the rain come down and wash away my tears   
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears   
Let it shatter the walls for a new sun   
A new day has... come   
Ohhh   
Hush, now   
I see a light in your eyes   
All in the eyes of the boy**   
  
Kyp blinked slightly, then quickly turned to leave. He had no desire to walk in an interrupt Jaina and Jag's...er..."lovefest". Hoping neither had noticed him, Kyp quickly set off down the hall, mentally trying to shake the image of Jaina in Jag's lap while the latter had his tongue down her throat...   
  
_Durron, get a hold of yourself!_ he thought suddenly. Why in the name of all the stars had he agreed to going on this mission? Oh yeah...to keep those two in check. Marvelous job he was doing.   
  
**I can't believe   
I've been touched by an angel with love   
I can't believe   
I've been touched by an angel with love   
Hush, now (ahh..ahh...   
A new day... Ahh..ahh..)   
Hush, now (ahh..ahh..   
A new day...)**


	19. Behind Blue Eyes

_Behind Blue Eyes__ by The Who_

**No one knows what it's like   
To be the bad man   
To be the sad man   
Behind blue eyes   
And no one knows   
What it's like to be hated   
To be fated to telling only lies**   
  
Tiler stood under an overhanging bit of a building, she had know clue what one it was, but it was just a building. Out ahead of her, rain was falling like it was being poured from buckets. It was hardly surprising, considering this _was_ Mon Calamari. But that didn't mean she liked it. The black-haired girl shook out her hair, frowning and the chin-length strands of straight hair. It was getting far too long for comfort, but it was certainly not too long to be considered a hindrance.   
  
Her shirt, a pleasant forest green originally, was now soaked through. It almost appeared to be navy. It was of no concern to her, since that was the way her clothes usually ended up, but people passing by her often cast her troubled glances. Well, they really needed to get used to it. What else did you expect of refuges? Especially those from planets that had hardly been civilized past a 1000 person maximum population. The fact that Mon Calamari was so full was a strange concept, but Tiler didn't let that hinder her too much. She couldn't, if she wanted to make it anywhere in the galaxy.   
  
**No one knows what its like   
To feel these feelings   
Like I do, and I blame you!   
No one bites back as hard   
On their anger   
None of my pain and woe   
Can show through**   
  
Even though it was raining out, Jacen Solo insisted on going for a walk. He was too stuffed up in the new base, considering the transfer most of the Borleias patrol squadrons had gone through. His family had, of course, been moved. So here he was, on a over-populated planet, wondering what the kriff he was doing out in the rain when he could be inside meditating.   
  
Of course, then again, he _was_ Jacen Solo, son of Han Solo and Leia Organa Solo, nephew of Luke Skywalker. What else was he supposed to be but insane?   
  
Well, that was all wonderful, however, he was 20 kilometers from base and still walking away from it. This was not the ideal way to spend his free afternoon, not at all. Then again, neither was pining over your sister's venture to the Unknown Regions. He understood perfectly well why she wanted to go, but, Force...he wanted to spend some actual time with her. It seemed like he only saw her in passing recently.   
  
Quite oblivious to his surroundings by now, Jacen hardly noticed where he was walking as he went down the street. That changed very slightly when he realized he'd knocked into someone, sending them into the now-muddy street.   
  
**But my dreams they aren't as empty   
As my conscience seems to be   
I have hours, only lonely   
My love is vengeance   
That's never free**   
  
She hardly knew what hit her. All she did know was that she was suddenly rather muddy. _Hey, just like home,_ she thought disgustedly. However, she didn't voice that opinion. She braced her arms to push herself up, expecting the person who'd knocked into her to already be long gone, only to hear a voice.   
  
"Stang! Force, I'm so sorry."   
  
A hand was immediately offered to her, which Tiler stared at for a moment, expression wary, but finally accepted. Not a second later, she was on her feet, and the same hand was offering her a long brown robe. It only took her a minute to recognize the robe as one of a Jedi. She blinked in slight surprise, but none the less accepted it.   
  
"It's alright," she finally answered him, studying his face for the first time in their three minute-long encounter. The pulled the brown robe around her a bit tighter, savoring the warmth the garment brought with it. Tiler glanced up once again, an eyebrow slightly raised. "Who are you then?"   
  
**No one knows what its like   
To be mistreated, to be defeated   
Behind blue eyes   
No one knows how to say   
That they're sorry and don't worry   
I'm not telling lies**   
  
Relief at not being grouched at was released from Jacen in a silent sigh, but he quickly stifled it. Best not to do that now. It would be much better to get back to base. Realizing he had a question waiting to be answered, he grinned slightly, then gestured down the road to indicate they keep walking in attempt to get out of the rain.   
  
"I'm Jacen, you?" he replied to her, noticing that what he could see of her was soaked to the bone.   
  
The girl was still watching where she was going, not looking up at him at all. But she did answer.   
  
"Tiler. Pleased to meet you."   
  
Her voice was something that could mesmerize anyone, and almost did that to him. The only thing that stopped him from making a compete fool of himself by staring fixedly at her was to remind himself that they needed to get back to the base. Besides, it wouldn't hurt to see if Tiler needed a place to stay. He somehow guessed, given her state of wetness, that she didn't.   
  
**But my dreams they aren't as empty   
As my conscience seems to be   
I have hours, only lonely   
My love is vengeance   
That's never free**   
  
Tiler was amazed at her sudden turn of luck. She'd not only met a person who wasn't too busy to talk to, but his family- amazingly Han and Leia Solo!- had found room on the Starfighter Command base for her to stay. It was certainly an improvement from her roaming the city until she found a place to stay, that was for sure.   
  
Besides, she knew someone now. It was definitely a good thing. Now if she could just get over her sithing 'previous life', it would be great. Tiler had been disinclined to trust Jacen Solo at first, as any might do...but she had her reasons. Currently sitting on a couch in what was the pilots' lounge, Tiler let her face drop to her hands, a sigh escaping her unwittedly.   
  
When she looked up again, she glanced out the window to the world outside. The people still walked the streets and they were all fine. The sun hadn't imploded and destroyed the entire solar system. She wasn't a curse. But she was still the girl that was hated, jaded, and forbidden to return. She was just the girl behind blue eyes.   
  
**No one knows what its like   
To be the bad man, to be the sad man   
Behind blue eyes**


	20. This Moment

_This Moment__ by Melissa Etheridge_

**I... I am watching you sleep   
It's the promise you've made   
One I find I can keep   
Oh I...want to swallow the moon   
Give a smile back to you   
Light your way   
Tell the Angels they'll just have to wait**

The _Shadow_ was on the hanger bay, all powered down, but still they had made no move. Jag, Jaina in his lap, watched her face, unable to keep himself from admiring the beautiful creature in his arms. It was still slightly amazing to him that she had chosen _him_, of all people. It was truly amazing. Yet she wore the engagement ring he'd given her, and she wore it with a pride he never thought he'd see someone putting into when it came to a ring. Yet he was just as proud, proud to be the one to have given it to her. 

Fortunately for him, his thoughts were cut across by the most wonderful sensation of Jaina's lips branding his own with love and stars knew what else in way of possession. He smiled into the kiss, using his tongue to part her lips and get a true taste of her love, the love he returned equally. The feeling was amazing, something as close to pure bliss as one could possibly achieve, in Jag's opinion. Yet at the same time, he didn't want to share this feeling with anyone. He, Jagged Fel, wanted to be selfish for once. Yet who could really blame him? 

**'Cause I wanna stay here in this moment   
Can I quietly slip into you   
You and I can stay here in this moment   
Let the world fade away,   
I just want to stay with you**

He truly wished his bliss could last forever, the moment never ending, but time and circumstances, not to mention a need for air, broke the idea down to figments of imagination. That, and the sound of a voice being cleared behind them. Jag, reluctant though he was to release his bride-to-be, did just that, and turned his head to look at who he thought would be Kyp. 

He was rather surprised to find that it wasn't actually Kyp. Rather, it was Baron General Soontir Fel. Feeling a slight blush trying to rise on his cheeks, Jag dispelled the feeling, instead nodding to the man at the back of the cabin. 

"While I'm sure you might indulge in such activities in the Known Regions publicly, Jagged, I was not aware that you'd turned into such a Rebel that you would forget that these are, in fact, the _Un_known Regions," the Baron remarked, his voice clipped. 

Jag, about to respond, was silenced by Jaina's voice and it's curt remarks, so typical to the Solo name she bore, and proudly. "Of course these are the Unknown Regions, General. Why else would I find it appropriate to kiss my consort in 'public', as you'd have me call this. I typically don't get the chance to do as much when I'm on a ship, let alone in a crowded hanger." 

**I... I am watching you breathe   
I am pulled into you   
As you smash into me   
Oh I want to give you the stars   
All that I can hold in my arms   
Placing them where you lay   
Tell the Angles they'll just have to wait **

Jag winced slightly at the word she used to describe him, but had to grin none-the-less. Yep, she was definitely a Solo. He glanced at his father again, at once noticing he seemed to be thinking along the same 'Solo' lines. 

At last, the General seemed to loosen up a little. "I see, Miss Solo. However, since you've also pointed out that these are the Unknown Regions, with wonderful support, I'd also like to point out that in such case Jagged would not be considered your consort." 

Before either Jaina could comment, or his father continue, Jag broke in, attempting to break up this little 'love fest'. "Father, Jaina, I would appreciate it if you didn't talk about me as if I were here. Now, I believe we did not come to spend the entire two weeks inside Master Skywalker's yacht, but I could be wrong. I thought we were here for the celebration." 

Both Jaina and the Baron appeared to agree with his thought, for they both nodded. Jaina shifted on his lap, then stood up, her hand still in his. General Fel, on the other hand, walked out of the cabin and out of the ship. Jag stood and allowed Jaina to lead him a few paces before stopping her. He bent his head ever-so-slightly and whispered in her ear, "I don't think that's what you wanted to do to make a good impression, my dear." 

Jaina huffed and said nothing, but nodded after a moment. Jag smiled to himself, glad that she at least seemed open to agreeing with him here. 

**'Cause I wanna stay here in this moment   
Can I quietly slip into you   
You and I can stay here in this moment   
Let the world fade away,   
I just want to stay with you**

The journey from the private hanger to the Fel estate was short and altogether uneventful. Baron Fel had made a few comments about how 'Syal will be so happy you've come for the holiday, Jagged', and a few others to similar ends. Jag had replied in kind, but paid more attention to Jaina and the somewhat irritated expression she wore. 

When he'd asked her why she was upset, she'd told him that she wasn't, she just didn't feel so great. Jag had accepted that, and hoped silently that he wouldn't have to ask his father to pull over so Jaina could throw up on the side of the road. That would lead to some nasty explanations for, while Jaina had more of a stomach than she'd had three months ago, it still wasn't as noticeable as her pregnancy could've been. 

Kyp, strangely, had been silent the entire ride. He seemed to be lost in some kind of meditative trance, though he might've just been faking it. Jag didn't want to risk being snapped at if he roused the Jedi, however, so he'd left the Master alone. 

And so now, here they were. The four of them, two Jedi, four pilots, one soon-to-be-yet-unknowing-grandfather, and a pair of lovers. Jag almost laughed at the situation, but managed to restrain himself. His only worry right now was how his mother and siblings would accept Jaina. And, of course, that either his mother or father would figure out Jaina was pregnant and the two of them weren't exactly married. 

**With my hand on your skin we can slowly begin, I am free   
Now the heavens have less cause I've found the best and I won't let them take you away   
Tell the angels they'll just have to wait... **

The door opened to a house Jag remembered only too well. Jaina, her eyes wide, was looking around the large den with an expression close to awe, her stomach's discomfort seemingly forgotten for the moment. Kyp, his expression also rather interested, was doing much the same in way of studying. And then, from the kitchen, Jag heard a voice that made him smile. 

"'Tir? Is that you, dear?" Syal Fel, formerly Wynssa Starflare, glided through the rooms as if not really walking on the floor. Jag sniggered silently as he saw Kyp's mouth open slightly, before it snapped sharply shut. No doubt the Jedi Master had realized it woudln't do to stare when Jag's father was around. 

"Of course it is, Syal. I've brought home your son, and a few guests as well." The Baron, his entire demeanor changed by his wife's presence, kissed her on the cheek before putting an arm over her shoulders and moving out of her way. Syal uttered a happy gasp and scurried from her husband to Jag and gripped him in a tight hug. 

Jag couldn't help smiling at his mother's enthusiasm, pleased simply because he was receiving such a warm welcome. Syal stepped back from him a moment later, her hands gripping his upper arms, her eyes looking him over. "You're looking as good as ever, Jagged." She paused, now looking at Jaina with interest, then Kyp. "And these two are...?" 

With a smile, Jag shifted out of his mother's hold and moved over to Jaina. His arm going around his fianc's waist, he looked back at his parents. "This is Jaina Solo, my fiancé." 

**'Cause I wanna stay here in this moment   
Can I quietly slip into you   
You and I can stay here in this moment   
Let the world fade away,   
I just want to stay with you**

Syal, the picture of motherly happiness, beamed broadly at the pair of them. Jag, now even more ecstatic that his mother appeared to like Jaina, felt his grin grow. Next instant saw Jaina being pulled into a hug, then released. Jag took that moment to introduce Kyp. "And this," he said, indicating, "Is Jedi Master Kyp Durron." 

Kyp nodded, pausing his intense study of what could be seen from the position just past the door. Jag watched as Kyp was also embraced like a lost son and then sheparded toward the kitchen. One glance at his father told them that they should follow as well, yet the General said nothing. Jag silently wondered what kind of yelling he was going to get for becoming engaged to a Rebel. Then again, his father _had_..."overheard" him telling his mother that he was going to propose to Jaina. Perhaps it wouldn't be too bad. 

Dinner was altogether just as uneventful as the speeder ride back. Jag had found out that his siblings, one in flight school, the other in a private acting academy, would be arriving the next day, so they'd best be prepared to deal with a noisy house again. And then everyone had decided it would be best to get settled into their rooms and get rested up, considering the lengthy flight in. 

Kyp's room was down the hall from Jaina's and his, three doors to be exact. Jag, however, was too intent on getting time alone with Jaina to really mind that Kyp would be taking what had once been Cherith's room. 

**I wanna stay here in this moment   
Make the earth stand impossibly still   
Disappear in your kiss, we'll never be missed   
Let the world fade way, I just want to stay with you **

It was past midnight, but still Jag was lying awake in the darkness. Jaina was on her back next to him, her head turned to the side on the pillow. Softly, Jag leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead, not wanting to wake her up. A semi-smile seemed to trace its way onto her lips, though she remained asleep. 

Earlier that day he'd thought he never could be more content. In this moment, he knew he'd been wrong. Every moment he spent with Jaina was a moment he wanted to remain forever, to never die. And this was just another in the soon-to-become storybook of them. Resting on his side, his head propped on his hand and elbow, Jag ran his fingers through Jaina's chestnut hair, watching her blistful sleep. She truly was an angel, yet she was his. Everything else could wait; he had Jaina. 

Jag's fingers slipped from her hair to instead rest on her abdomen, fingers brushing against her skin tenderly. Though he might not have the Force, he could still tell there was a life there. A life that was half his, half Jaina's, entirely his family, and given being to out of love. The galaxy might've been at war, but at that moment, Jag was at perfect peace with it. 

**With you**


	21. Come Clean

_Come Clean by Hilary Duff_

**Let's go back   
Back to the beginning   
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned**

It was slightly surprising to Kyp when he woke up to find that a storm was going on outside. It wasn't exactly snow or sleet, and not exactly rain either. He was so transfixed by the movement of the mixture that he must've stayed staring at it for over half an hour. Only the movement from the rest of the house caused him to realize it might be a good idea to get moving and out of the room. 

Through the connection he always had with Jaina, Kyp found that she was already awake and down in the kitchen. Jag was, as usual, already with her. The elder Fels were also in the kitchen, yet they weren't sitting down. 

**'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect   
Trying to fit a square into a circle   
Was no life   
I defy**

Deciding that, even though it wasn't perfect weather outdoors, he didn't want to stay in the house all day, Kyp got dressed in casual clothes and made his way down to the kitchen. Kyp paused once in the hallway to look at a holoimage on the wall. In the holo, there were seven people, the most easy to recognize being Baron and Baroness Fel, and Jag. The other four all shared features with the people Kyp recognized. Upon closer inspection, it appeared to be Jag's family. 

He said nothing about the holo when he entered the kitchen, merely offered morning greetings and took a bite of the bagel offered to him. The rest of the conversation seemed to drift away from his line of thought, and he found himself staring into the rain or snow- whichever it was- and becoming lost in thought. Kyp was brought back to the room by Jaina's voice. 

**Let the rain fall down   
And wake my dreams   
Let it wash away   
My sanity   
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder   
I wanna scream   
Let the rain fall down   
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean**

"Kyp? Kyp, you okay?" 

Slightly startled, he looked over at her concerned face, and a slight part of him twinged. He couldn't keep these feelings for her, it wouldn't be right. It was just... It was just that he knew that he'd always love her, even if she were married to Jag. 

"Yeah, sorry about that. I was just thinking," he said quickly. "What did you say?" 

**I'm shedding   
Shedding every color   
Trying to find a pigment of truth   
Beneath my skin**

Jaina, looking slightly exasperated now that he was proven fine, shook her head. "Never mind. It doesn't much matter anyway." She grumbled something else under her breath, something Kyp didn't catch, but whatever it was, it made Baron Fel laugh for the first time during their entire visit. 

"Well, I suppose I was wrong for judging you'd have a less-diverse vocabulary than your father," he said, still chuckling slightly. Jaina's frown turned upwards and she couldn't help grinning. 

"It's just the weird Solo sense of humor." 

**'Cause different   
Doesn't feel so different   
And going out is better   
Then always staying in   
Feel the wind**

Kyp had no clue what to do around the house. Jaina had asked him to come along, but he still couldn't fathom why. There really was no purpose to him being there, if not to spar or argue with. Yet Jag was good enough for those purposes if she really wanted to do either. 

However, he didn't have much a choice anymore. He'd obviously boarded the _Jade Shadow_ of his own free will, yet he hadn't bothered to stop and think about what he was actually going to do once on Csilia. Perhaps he'd thought something good might come out of it, he didn't know. Or perhaps it had been subtle guidance from the Force. 

The thoughts were driven from his head as Kyp saw a speeder pull into the drive. Turning in his chair, he called over his shoulder to whoever might hear him. "Looks like the rest of the family's arrived." 

**Let the rain fall down   
And wake my dreams   
Let it wash away   
My sanity   
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder   
I wanna scream   
Let the rain fall down   
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean**

Syal Fel was the first to make it to the foyer. She opened the door and was at once met by the sight of what Kyp thought to be a mirror image. The girl had long blonde hair and was just about Syal's height, face chiseled with the same killer smile. 

"Wyn!" Kyp watched the holostar wrap her daughter in a hug, aware that Soontir Fel had also turned up at some space in time. A darker-haired girl appeared behind 'Wyn', and Syal's face seemed to shine with a new light. "Oh, Cem, you're back!" 

**I'm coming clean   
Let the rain fall   
Let the rain fall   
I'm coming...**

It was a strange thing to be watching, Kyp thought. He'd never really experienced anything like that, but wouldn't exactly say it was something he was envious of. The two Fel girls entered, sopping wet, but still smiling. Jag and Jaina, both dressed- for once- in casual clothes, appeared seconds later, the former's face held in a smile at the sight of his sisters. 

The darker one, Cem, noticed the pair first and was quick to run over and hug her brother, then study Jaina. "So who's this, big brother?" 

**Let the rain fall down   
And wake my dreams   
Let it wash away   
My sanity   
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder   
I wanna scream   
Let the rain fall down   
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean**

It was interesting, Kyp admitted, to watch the goings on without taking part in them. Syal and Wynssa were already lost in what appeared to be a talk about how your technical crews were the most important thing when you went on stage, and how you should always love them and respect them. Apparently the girl had taken after her mother in what she wanted to do for a living. 

Yet it was Cem that Kyp's mind wandered to as the day wore on. The Fel girls and had all gone off, dragging Jaina along, to see if they could alter her tastes to that of Csilian likenesses. Kyp had the strangest suspicion that they would be extremely unsuccessful. That had left Kyp talking with Baron Fel over Starfighter Command and the shadow bombs, but then Kyp had decided to walk through Syal's hothouse garden. It was a truly beautiful place, yet Kyp still found himself thinking back to Cem Fel. What was his problem, any way? She was _Jaina's_ age, yet he also loved Jaina... 

Force, his life was confusing. 

**Let's go back   
Back to the beginning**


	22. She Will Be Loved

_She Will Be Loved__ by Maroon 5_

**Beauty queen of only eighteen   
She had some trouble with herself   
He was always there to help her   
She always belonged to someone else**   
  
Jacen Solo grinned across the table in his parents' appartment at Tiler, wondering if he was really sitting there. Sure he and Tenel Ka had always had a certain connection, and she'd been his first crush...but he had known that he could never be with her, especially since she became the Queen Mother of the Hapes Cluster. It just wasn't a smart thing to do, being married into that family. And it wasn't that Tenel ka was a bad person, but ruling 63 worlds was something Jacen would never be able to comfortably aid in.   
  
But here he was, sitting across from a girl he probably wouldn't have met unless he had gone on that walk. And in his eyes, she also happened to be rather good looking, along with having a nice personality. True, he'd only met her a few days ago, yet he almost felt like he'd known her all his life.   
  
**I drove for miles and miles   
And wound up at your door   
I've had you so many times but somehow   
I want more**   
  
Her thoughts were lost from the table, instead traveling vast distances through space. She heard the sounds around her, but didn't actually hear the words. On the other three nights she'd had dinner with the Solo family, another girl, blonde with green eyes, had also been present. Tiler had gotten to know Tahiri well enough to consider her a friend and to be comfortable around her.   
  
But Tahiri was off somewhere else that night, though Tiler had no clue where it was. So instead she was resigned to spending the evening here trying not to end up feeling too uncomfortable in knowing that she was being watched rather closely by Jacen Solo. His parents were nice enough, of course, but it was a hard thing to be easy going when the object of her new obsession was watching her very closely. All she needed was to be known as a jynx and she'd be lost forever.   
  
**I don't mind spending everyday   
Out on your corner in the pouring rain   
Look for the girl with the broken smile   
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile   
And she will be loved   
She will be loved**   
  
Object of obsession... Was she really obsessing over Jacen? Sure, he was nice and everything, but a person such as him surely must have a girlfriend, at the _very_ least. Or maybe she was just a naïve girl from an out-of-way planet that still held planet-wide superstitions and grudges. Yet it had always seemed so different back home.   
  
Home. Tiler didn't even know if she could call it as much any more, considering what had been part of the goings on there. It probably would be smarter not to associate herself with the planet, even if it was a lie. It would be the first lie Tiler had told, and on top of that it had a reason behind it. Silently, Tiler continued eating her dinner, not noticing that she'd speared her roll, not her nerf steak.   
  
**Tap on my window knock on my door   
I want to make you feel beautiful   
I know I tend to get insecure   
It doesn't matter anymore**   
  
Jacen watched Tiler skewer her roll on her fork, a slight frown crossing his features. Watching her facial expressions told him enough to know that she was lost in thought, and it obviously was very close to home. Half of him wondered if he should say something, but then again, she might get embarrassed if he pointed out she was in la-la land.   
  
Dinner finished without event, and that left the family waiting on Tahiri's return to the appartment. In some odd way, it almost was like Tahiri had always been expected to become part of the family. Now that Anakin was gone, it appeared that Jacen's parents were treating Tahiri not quite like a one-time girlfriend, but almost as if she'd been widowed. And now that Jacen had met Tiler, it almost appeared to be the same way with her. His parents had been able to get her a permenant place within Starfighter Command's buildings, and life had continued.   
  
**It's not always rainbows and butterflies   
It's compromise that moves us along   
My heart is full and my door's always open   
You can come anytime you want**   
  
Post-dinner activities were not really anything much. Han and Leia were talking in the living room with a recently-returned Tahiri. Jacen was off somewhere in the appartment, leaving Tiler to go out on the small balcony-type attachment outside the Solo quarters. She sat down crosslegged by the edge, watching the people milling around below.   
  
Vaguely aware of the sliding doors opening behind her, Tiler stared for a moment at a mother and her young child as they skipped down the street, the little girl's giggles easily heard even at the distance. What would Tiler have given to have an experience like that when she was younger? Probably a lot more than most might think. Next to her, she was suddenly very aware of Jacen's presence moving to sit down in much the same position as herself.   
  
**I don't mind spending everyday   
Out on your corner in the pouring rain   
Look for the girl with the broken smile   
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile   
And she will be loved   
She will be loved**   
  
"What's wrong?" Jacen asked her, noticing her odd expression as she watched the people below. He had wondered about her history the moment he'd met her, but he had never really thought about it in great detail. Now that he had a chance to actually perform the task, he was faced with getting it out of Tiler, if he could.   
  
However, he didn't expect to see what he saw next. In the haze of post-sunset light, a refraction of the light came off one narrow point on her cheek, showing plainly the tearstreak there. Not quite sure what to do, Jacen sat in silence for a few moments. Finally, something inside him snapped. He reached over to Tiler and pulled her into a hug, all the while not entirely sure why he was doing what he was doing. But he received no resistance or struggle, so he only assumed he was doing the right thing. It felt so..._right_ to be sitting here with her, yet at the same time so new. All Jacen had to do now was figure out what the sith he was going to do after this.   
  
**I know where you hide   
Alone in your car   
Know all of the things that make you who you are   
I know that goodbye means nothing at all   
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls**


End file.
